Blog

Quick Tips for Combating Stress and Anxiety

My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, my voice was shaky and I was completely flustered..

I’d always dreamed of starting a career, at a large, Fortune 500 company with tremendous growth opportunity. And one day, I was granted that opportunity.

I was hired on as a contractor. From day one, I was determined to apply my self, excel and work my way up to the position I want ultimately. I’d prayed, visualized, and EVERY DAY I write out my goal daily. I believe in writing the vision and making it plain. So, every day I write out.. “I am being promoted at *** because I have excelled.” I worked really hard. And, eventually, God blessed me to get hired on as an FTE in April 2020. But, I AM determined to keep going. I was not content, staying where I was. So, I pushed and I excelled. God blessed me to be promoted by the end of October 2020. I’d worked so hard to get this opportunity.. But, that opportunity came with new territory, new responsibilities and new expectations.

I felt the pressure immensely. I became overwhelmed and flirted with the idea of giving up or going back to my prior position. Can you believe it!?

During my training, I began to panic and my anxiety was high. Now, if you know me, you know that when I start something I am passionate about, I am determined to keep going until I win! I don’t like to give up without a fight. I ask myself, how bad do you want it? And, I keep going.

My trainer was working with me 1:1 and was well aware of how anxious I was. Typically, in high stress moments, I’m able to talk my self through.. Practicing deep breathing, mindfulness and positive affirmation. But, I’d reached a point where I just could not seem to ground myself. My trainer did an excellent job of affirming and helping me relax, center and focus on the positives. But, I knew I had to do something.. else.

Now, anxiety and stress is something I have struggled with for a long time. My number one goal for 2020 was to maintain a healthy life balance. A large part of that, for me, has been prioritizing self-care and by implementing the following tips into my daily/weekly routine.

These are all things that work and that I highly recommend doing CONSISTENTLY for the best results. Doing theses things has really helped me, overall, to combat anxiety and stress and even depression. However, the one thing on the list that I was last to implement was.. taking dietary supplements that enhance mood and promote relaxation.

After a few challenging days of training, I decided it was time to face my fear of taking pills and decided to give it a try. And I must say.. they really work! Here’s what I tried. And, here’s how it helped.

If you struggle with stress and anxiety. I get it. I feel you. But be encouraged and know that you are not alone AND that there are things you can do and supplements you can take to help you get through it.

We got BIG goals and we’re chasing BIG dreams, in a pandemic. It’s not easy. But, it is soo worth it. So, don’t stop pursuing your goals and don’t throw the whole dream away. Instead, implement that tips above and watch magic happen!

Thanks for reading! Wishing you a blessed, productive and prosperous week.

How Bad Do You Want It?

We made it! The fourth Quarter is here! I know 2020 has had many of us feeling like yelling Jumanji when the clock strikes midnight, New Years Eve.. But, the blessed thing is that we are here and we’ve still got 3 months to close this year out strong.

What was your mindset and focus walking into 2020?

I walked into 2020 with MY plans. Plans to get back on stage performing spoken word, traveling and promoting my book at live events and more. All of my plans involved in person socializing, I was very much looking forward to. But.. Covid-19 happened.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months.. And, like everyone else, I had to pivot.

One thing that makes me really uncomfortable is unexpectedly having to change my plans. But, one thing I’ve learned the value of this year is that:

A key to success is one’s ability to be FLEXIBLE in their approach to achieving goals.

Life happens we least expect it.

Even when it’s uncomfortable, sometimes it will be necessary for us to SHIFT in our approach IF we really want to achieve our goals. That means switching the HOW without changing the WHAT.

Question is, how bad do you want it?

For most of 2020, I have been going back to the drawing board and analyzing my goals and strategy of attack, self-reflection and relaxation. I’ve learned how necessary it is to have and maintain a healthy life BALANCE.

I’ve also learned to be proud and to celebrate the fact that I’ve gotten through emotionally triggering moments in 2020 without spiraling into depression or anxiety attacks, like I did the past 3 years.

I thought I was going to focus 90% of my time and energy on growing my new business, promoting my books and performing poetry. But, instead, my focus has largely been on MY personal growth and development! Oh! And, making sure that have necessary systems in place to effectively grow my business, when it’s time.

I had no idea things were going to go in this direction. It’s been bittersweet and in SOME ways, a blessing in disguise. I mean, I like things to go my way.. But, I’ve learned to appreciate that it won’t always go my way and be okay with that.

I am excited to see how THIS season of unexpected preparation will unfold into something AMAZING.

My friend, whatever challenges that you have faced in 2020 or in life, it came to make you stronger AND to prepare and position YOU for what is to come.

Sometimes, God will step in and initiate CHANGE in our plans. Especially, if they do not ALIGN with HIS plan and purpose for our life.

Even still, God is working it all together for your good. I encourage you today, to trust him with your GOALS, DREAMS and with your LIFE.

Hang in there, we’ve got 3 months left in the year. Let’s finish strong. Let’s set goals & slay!

Why It’s Okay to Have Bad Days (A lesson on Perspective)

It’s okay to sometimes be like, “I’m having a bad day,  I’m not feeling like myself” and just be.

This does not mean that you stay there. The key is being self-aware and mindful. Being able to acknowledge that, “this is where I am, it’s not where I wanted to be and this is not where I will stay, but right now, in this moment, this is where I am, this is how I feel and it is okay. Because I know that I am and that I will be okay.”

I haven’t always thought this way. And, often would disregard the quote that says “It’s okay not to be okay.” I’d think to myself, “what do you mean it’s okay?” But, life experiences has since shifted my perspective on this a bit.

Happiness is a choice..

I wholeheartedly believe that our own personal happiness is a choice. And, that it is up to us, whether or not, we allow people, things and circumstances to influence our overall happiness. This, accompanied by the idea that our ability to maintain a positive success “growth” mindset is key to our overall happiness and success in life. However, I have learned through various experiences over the past few years, that life is made up of a series of processes and levels.

Stick with me..

For those of us who are complex, we may need to be extra patient with ourselves when it comes to our personal growth and development, because an essential part of growth is process. Sometimes, going through the process is uncomfortable. Sometimes, it feels like nothing is happening, or as if no progress is being made. But, to endure, we must understand that it is all a part of the process. And, that process does not look the same for everybody.

Your process might not look like my process and that is okay.

During the process, you may have a moment or even an entire day where you are just not okay. And, it seems like in the world of personal development, that we’re taught that we should do things that will promote positivity and a shift in our emotions or mindset, while we are in a negative mental place. I absolutely agree with this.. However, today, I want to share an idea..

That sometimes, an essential part of our PROCESS may be to do nothing at all, but simply observe.

Be mindful and observe HOW you feel, identify WHY, what or who influenced you to feel some type of way and just be.. in the moment.

Simply observe. Allow yourself to FEEL the emotion.

Acknowledge the feeling, without adding or subtracting it’s value.

Know that the FEELING does not have to last forever if you don’t want it to. Because yes, YOU do have a choice to be or not to be happy. You CAN shift your focus and intentionally focus on things that bring you joy and happiness; to SHIFT your feeling (mood), attitude or perspective.

Remember.. that it is okay, to simply observe.

If it happens to be a part of your process, it’s okay.

Don’t feel as if you have to meditate, chant, or baptize yourself in affirmations IF you feel as if you need a minute to just hit the pause button and simply BE in the moment. Yes, even with the negative feelings/emotions.

I feel as if this take on mindset and dealing with negative emotions is taboo to some, but it’s real. Most times the meditation, prayer, affirmations, etc. will work. But, every now and then, you may discover that you just need to be mindful and ride it out.

In the process, as you observe, you remain open to lessons you can learn and perspective shifts can take place, simply because you are still.

Do This Whenever You Feel Uncomfortable, Unconfident or Inadequate..

For the past couple of weeks I have been taking time to hit the reset button and get some much needed r&r. Usually, I am always on the go and tend to keep going until I hit a wall; where I become physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

During my time of rest and relaxation, I have had opportunities to take part in a few activities I haven’t done in a long time and others that I have never done before. Somehow I found myself outside of my comfort zone, at times where I was not expecting to end up there. Maybe you can relate, but I have found myself having to try a little harder to shift my perspective of my comfort zone – or – in this case, lack thereof. I mean, I’ve literally had to pause, walk and talk myself through the process of shifting my mindset.

Many people are comfortable with their negative mindset/perspective. But, to truly grow and evolve as a person, we must be willing to shift our mindsets and adapt; to enable personal growth and development in uncomfortable experiences.

I’ve gotten a really late start, but over the past 3 years, I’ve really come to loooove Marvel and DC movies and shows. I’ve always wished I had a super power.. But, what I am realizing is that WE already have a super power. Like some of our Superhero faves, who did not discover or come to terms with their powers until they were teenagers or young adults; we have a power that many of us have not discovered or come to terms with yet. Our super power is our MIND and our ability to SHIFT.

So what, we can’t shape-shift or run at super human speed? We have a power that literally can change the trajectory of our lives IF we know how to use it.. yes, to our advantage. Often, when I am outside of my comfort zone, naturally, I feel uncomfortable, unconfident and inadequate. But lately, I’ve been pressing pause and walking myself through the process of shifting my mindset, so that I am focusing less on WHAT I can’t do very well and focusing on what I CAN and have done well.

Y’all, I have found myself tripping up and making mistakes on trivial things, things that I have done many times before AND some things that I’ve never done before. The trip up has not necessarily been in the mistake I made or embarrassment it caused, but rather the fact that I was impatient and disappointed in myself for not excelling. Before beating myself up about it mentally, I hit pause and remind myself that..

  1. It’s okay to try hard and still mess up, many things, over and over again
  2. It’s okay to NOT be perfect
  3. It’s okay to be good at SOME things and not everything. OR, one or two things instead of many things
  4. It’s better to be authentically you and stay in your lane, no matter how uncomfortable it may be at times
  5. Your superpower is your mental ability to leverage being comfortable IN uncomfortable situations
  6. Your super is also your imperfection

I’ve literally had to tell myself at times, “So what, you may not be good at a lot of things, but it is super valuable, just the two or three things that you do VERY well.”

When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, unconfident or inadequate, heres’ what you should do:

  1. Be patient with yourself
  2. Be consistent in going through the process to SHIFT
  3. Celebrate the small wins too!
  4. Give yourself as many pep talks as you need

Use your super power: your mind. It is so much more powerful than you realize. I encourage you to research and study the power of YOUR mind AND your thoughts. Use your mind; and more specifically to change your life; beginning with the negative thoughts you think consistently about uncomfortable things you experience. When a negative thought comes to mind, replace it with a positive thought. Do this, over and over again. Practice mindfulness and meditation, listen to binaural beats as you sleep, detox and eat clean, stay active and surround yourself with positive minded people.. All these things help us to have a more positive perspective of ourselves and of the challenging and uncomfortable situations we experience.

Stay positive minded & stay safe out there. Keep chasing & manifesting those dreams!

The Truth About Perspective

One of the realist quotes I’ve ever heard, simply states that reality is a question of perspective. The concept of perspective has become increasingly intriguing to me over the past year. This due to a combination of life experiences and a heightened awareness of my thoughts, emotions and ability to adapt in new and challenging situations.

2 years ago I was struggling with suicidal ideations. I wanted to escape the pain and anxiety I was experiencing. I was depressed, burnt out and felt no one would notice or miss me if I was just suddenly gone. 2 years later, I’m alive, healthy and happy overall. And blessed to be celebrating my 27th birthday today. My birthday shenanigans consist of self reflection, relaxation, mindfulness and writing this blog post of course.

I can’t help but think about EVERYTHING I have and everything that I have become over the years. I am so grateful for life. Because, my perspective of my life and life in general was so negative. I’m thankful not just for the petty and superficial things, but I’m so much more aware of things like.. Peace of mind, creativity and opportunity.

“Your perspective will either become your prison or your passport.”

– Steven Furtick

My entire life has changed over the past 5 years, and even more-so over the past 2 years, because my entire PERSPECTIVE of myself and life has shifted. I always say that MINDSET is everything. Our mindset is really just our perspective of ALL things. The beautiful things about shifting your mindset/perspective is that the things around you will begin to shift as well. How? Because, when your mindset changes, your actions begin to align with that new way of thinking. My life has began to change.. and it’s a beautiful thing.

I have come from a place of wanting to end my life to wanting to LIVE. Not just be present and going through the motions of life, but to really LIVE. To show up and be authentically me, to the fullest without shame or apology. I believe this is how we all should live.

Getting to this place is really a place of mental peace and stability. This is the greatest blessing I have. And, there’s many different levels and things that factored or contributed to this. But, the biggest factor was recognizing, understanding and embracing/accepting who I am AND who GOD has created me to be.

We are more than potential. We were each created on purpose,with purpose. Every challenge, positive and negative challenge we experience in life comes to push and position us, so that we may be in alignment with our purpose. It’s like, if we’re not in the right place at the right time, we’ll miss the OPPORTUNITY to operate in our God given purpose.

Opportunity is not hidden. It is everywhere. It is out in the open. But, often times, we miss opportunities because we are not prepared; we’re not in position. We’re not in alignment. Sometimes we think the opportunities either don’t exist, aren’t for us or are hidden. But, this really isn’t the case at all. Really, it’s just that, figuratively speaking, our heads are turned, looking in the wrong direction, so we just don’t see it. How can we solve this? By shifting our perspective.

The difference between where I was 2 years ago and where I am today is that I have shifted my overall perspective of who I am and why I AM here. And, with that, I have begun to take strategic action that aligns with my LIFE PURPOSE.

I am on a mission to empower creative women to clarify, set and slay their BIG + IMPOSSIBLE looking dreams! I want to help you achieve your goals and live your life operating in your God given purpose. That is my purpose.

What is your life purpose? How can you fulfill your purpose and live your life operating in that purpose, daily?

Check out my products and services; to see how we can work together to bring your dreams to life!

I love you all. PEACE, BLESSINGS & HAPPY MANIFESTING!