Perfectionism can be a silent killer of dreams. Many people fail to pursue their goals because they allow perfectionism to hinder their progress. I’d like to refrain from painting the idea of perfectionism in a bad light, because in some aspects, perfectionism can be a positive thing. For instance, striving for perfection is a sign that you may have a success “growth” mindset. It means that you see room for improvement and therefore you are open for opportunities of growth and expansion. It’s also a good thing, because it’s likely that you desire to present quality content, products or whatever it is that you are working on.
There is nothing wrong with setting high standards for yourself. However, like anything else, there is a thin line that is easy to cross, if you’re not careful. If you’re not careful, your reason or excuse for not getting started, putting yourself out there or releasing your gift to the world can quickly turn into perfectionism. And, at the end of the day, all it is, is an excuse. Allow me to keep it real with you today. If you’ve put in the work, whether on yourself or on your project, whatever it may be, don’t continue to allow perfection to hinder you from launching any longer. Don’t strive to be perfect. Because, we don’t all define perfection the same. So, when it’s finally “perfect” in your eyes, I guarantee, someone, somewhere will have a differing opinion. So please, cut yourself some slack. Work hard, but don’t over think it.
If you’ve been putting off taking the next big step because you feel you’re not ready or things are not as good as they can be, consider this: You are better off imperfect. And, here’s why; Your flaws and imperfections is a blessing in disguise. Just as you are, you will attract those who are in alignment with your purpose. This means that, you and what you have to offer is not meant for everybody. It’s not perfect for EVERYBODY but it is perfect for SOMEBODY. Somebody will be drawn to you or your product because it’s meant for them, those who it is not for, or who aren’t ready for it will overlook it. They will take the opportunity for granted. So, I encourage you to embrace the flaws and all. See the beauty in the imperfection, and even if you don’t quite see it, launch anyway. Take that leap of faith, step outside of your comfort zone – pursue your goals, live your dream and live your life operating in your God given purpose!
Heartbreak, Rejection, Disappointment and Achieved Goals!
As 2018 came to an end, did you announce to yourself and to the world that 2019 was going to be YOUR YEAR? Where you in that Sunday service where the pastor prophesied over the congregation that 2019 would be THEE year, you’d been hoping, praying and dreaming of for so long, so you jumped, clapped and shouted AMEN with your arms held high with tears in your eyes!? I’ll be the first to raise my hand and confess that I was one of those individuals. I’ll also be honest and admit that 2019 did not at all go how I was hoping it would go.
As we conclude 2019, I’ve found myself wondering what the hell happened? As I write this, I am holding back tears, I can hardly believe I am sharing this with you all.. But, moment of transparency.. I was hoping 2019 would be my breakout out year. I was sure THIS would be thee year I would step on stages and speak, become a best selling author, etc. And let me tell you, this year did not go the way I was hoping it would go. I did not become a best selling author, and although I had booked my FIRST speaking gig – which sadly did not happen, my ex-boyfriend and I broke up after near 2 years of dating – which I didn’t see coming, spent 6+ months of applying and interviewing for a new job before the right opportunity came along.. And, after my bf and I broke up, 2 days later I made an impulsive decision and adopted a kitten, that I had to rehome 4 months later because he was super aggressive to anyone but me and I found out my car had an number of repairs needed to the point that I was literally scared to drive anywhere, let alone the 45 minute drive to work everyday.
Listen, I don’t share all of this for sympathy. And trust me, I know my year has been a walk in the park compared to how many other people’s 2019 has gone. I just want you to understand, before I go any further, that I know what it’s like to have high hopes and goals, only to have them fall through. I also know what it’s like to step out on faith, step outside of your comfort zone and get let down. For example, the one thing I did this year that surprised me most is when I told this guy, a co-worker of mine at the time, that I was interested in him and available, and gave him my phone number (mind you, he had expressed interest in me at the time I was in a relationship). So, what had happened was.. He smiled, said he’d reach out.. Only a few days later, I found out he was possibly involved with someone else and I never heard from him.. (P.S. He was resigning in a few days, so I’d decided to shoot my shot, because hey! You never know, right?) Stepping outside of my comfort zone, that time, led to yet another disappointment. But, I’m glad it did.
Now that I’ve got all that off my chest, please believe me when I say that I am grateful for how this year played out, even though it didn’t pan out initially how I’d planned. I’ll tell you why!
God knows the beginning from the end. He knows what you’ll desire before you ever desire it. He knew I needed that break up to happen, because the relationship I was in was toxic. I was holding on because it was comfortable, but once we broke up.. I felt free and a new sense of boldness. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like I stepped into a season of my life where, I’m ready and willing to go after everything that I desire, no matter how far outside of my comfort zone it may be. Things didn’t happen how or when I wanted them to, but now that I look back I appreciate how it did work out. I didn’t get the jobs I’d wanted initially, but the job I did get, pushed me even further outside of my comfort zone – preparing me even more for my dream of standing on stages and speaking and empowering women! Driving a car that could breakdown at anytime.. uncomfortable. The aggressive cat.. uncomfortable. The rejection.. uncomfortable. Not becoming a best seller.. uncomfortable (I’ve got more learning and growing to do!).
Even though things did not go how I wanted them to.. I am blessed to say that I still achieved MANY of my goals. You can set ALL the GOALS you want, and you can plan and pursue them, but unfortunately that does not guarantee that everything will go how you want them to go. The truth is, you can’t always control the HOW or the WHEN. But if you BELIEVE that you can have the WHAT, then you CAN have the WHAT – no matter what! I’m living proof of that, because I still got a NEW job that I wanted, it just didn’t happen as soon as I’d wanted it to. I Still got a new cat, who is a perfect fit, after having to surrender the aggressive one.. I didn’t speak on stage, but I got back to performing spoken word poetry, I got to vendor at events where I met amazing people, promoted and sold many copies of my book, I even got to travel and mark a goal off my bucket list! Oh, and I set up and registered my business with the State of Az! Not to mention, I’m free of ALL toxic relationships in my life (loss a bf and another best friend).. But, listen, I am grateful for how this year turned out.
See, you’ve got to believe, you’ve got to be patient and ride it out. Not only that, but you’ve got to be willing to step out side of your comfort zone to get what you want. And lastly, you’ve got to be willing to be still, listen and learn from the setbacks, rejections and mistakes you may make along the way. Learn to see the beauty in being in alignment and divine timing. Whether you believe in the universe or God, as I do, trust that everything is working together for your good. You shouldn’t have to wait, like I’ve had to, until you finally get what you want to appreciate the journey and the progress. Learn to appreciate the process! There is so much learning and growing to do IN the process that will make your success so much sweeter!
Maybe you’re like me, and 2019 hasn’t gone the way you thought it would go.. I want you to know that it’s not too late. 2019 can still be THEE year. But, it’s up to you and your mindset. You determine how you’re going to look back and remember 2019. It’s all about perspective. 2019 may not how gone exactly how I hoped it would go, but I can look back and be grateful for all that happened and proud of how I handled everything, because of my mindset. It’s up to you to recognize and value the lessons that can be learned through your experiences. Many people, myself included, planned this year to be a year of domination, but God said no, this is going to be a year of GROWTH. If you accept it and learn the lessons now.. Imagine what that means YOUR 2020 may be… THEE YEAR!!!
It’s the most wonderful time of year! We’ve got a lot of holidays to keep us occupied over the remaining weeks left in the year. With Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Christmas right around the corner, I promise, time is going to fly by and before you know it, we’ll be clinkin’ glasses and ringing in the new year! If you’re anything like me, you love this time of year and may even get caught up in the holiday festivities. You may even find it extra challenging to maintain focus on the one thing that has remained constant throughout the year, holiday or no holiday, and that of course is maintaining a healthy life balance. So, as we head into the most wonder time of year, let’s not have new years day, or rather – the day after new years, sneak up on us! Let’s set ourselves up for success now, so that we’re ready to jump in and slay our goals in 2020!
Listen, we have what it takes to slay our goals all year long in 2020! It doesn’t mean that we won’t experience setbacks or make mistakes from time to time, but it means that if we give ourselves the best shot at being successful, then the chances of us slaying a majority of the goals we set will be higher than those who fail to do so. That being said, I have a few tips to share with you, to help you prep for 2020. I want you to walk into the new year confident in your God given ability to slay your goals! You have what it takes, but you’ve got to do the work, to prepare – give yourself the best shot to be successful. Get in position. Get in alignment. Here are 3 ways to do just that.
1. Reflect on 2019 – Spend some time reflecting on 2019. Be honest with yourself about everything. There are many ways you can do this.My recommendation, is to write out a list of all the goals you set out to accomplish at the beginning of the year. Then, create 2 more lists, like a pro’s and con’s list, only with goals you accomplished vs goals you did not accomplish. Think about all the highs, lows, setbacks, progress and lessons learned throughout the year. Embrace it all, no matter how much you did or didn’t accomplish. As you wrap up your reflection, be sure to end on a positive note. You can do this through meditation or journaling even. However you choose to do this, be sure to focus all your thoughts and energy on the positive aspects of your 2019; realizing that 2020 is a gift and opportunity to pursue and achieve all the goals you’ve yet to achieve. Be real with yourself, but don’t be too hard on yourself, if you know what I mean.
2. Get clear on what you want to achieve in 2020. Piggy-backing off of step one, you’ll want to make sure you have a clear vision of what you want to achieve in 2020, because everything that you proceed to do after your goals have been set, should be in alignment with what you desire to achieve. In may sound redundant or silly, but ironically most people fail to get what they want out of life, because they don’t have a clear vision of what it is that they really want to begin with. Let’s make up in our minds now, that in 2020, we are going to be decisive! Even if we are unsure about what move we should make, what step we should take next.. We are going to move with confidence. So, make sure you identify exactly what you want to achieve in 2020, set clear goals and then identify your WHY factor. This is an extremely important piece to the puzzle. Most people miss this. But, I’m telling you, you’re going to want to identify your why. Know the reason why you want to achieve the goals you have set. Here’s why: Your WHY factor will be your motivating factor. Motivation is temporary, if it is not your WHY. Your WHY is going to be your lifeline, it will keep you going when the going gets tough. It will remind you why you should do whatever it takes to pursue you goal, regardless of what it takes to do so.
3. Deep clean your territory! When you deep clean your home, what do you do? You don’t just tidy up.. No, you throw out the trash, you straighten things up, you put things where they belong, you scrub, you wash, you sanitize, you reorganize and you may even redecorate! Before you enter the new year, make sure you detox your territory. Remove distractions and hinderances, detox your social circle; whether it’s on social media or in person. So, if you need to unfollow and unfriend some people on social media, do it. Anyone or anything that is tearing you down, instead of building you up, create distance. Whatever is making you feel bad about yourself, discouraging you, holding you back, you know what or who it is.. create distance! We’ve gotta enter the new year with an attitude of gratitude and positive vibes only. Why? Because we attract whatever is operating on the wave length of our reccuring thought patterns. But, that’s a whole other blog post topic, we’ll save that for another day.
When it comes to your 2020 goals, you need to be all in. But, first you’ve got to be honest with yourself. You’ve got to reflect, know what you want and why! Then, set a SMART goal and make sure you’ve distanced yourself from known stumbling blocks. Do yourself a favor, set yourself up for success. Give yourself your best shot at slaying your goals ALL year long! The steps listed above will help IF you take honest – action.
Can you believe we are less than 2 months away from 2020!? I can hardly believe it. And, you know what? This is the perfect time to reflect on 2019 and to prepare for the new year. You know, many people wait until January 1rst to set their new goals and resolutions, but really, you should be starting now. Don’t wait, get your game plan together and start executing now. Why? Because when you start early, you’re operating under a different kind of mindset. A success “growth” mindset. I know it may not seem like it, but it makes a different. It’s the same idea, as waking up an hour our two earlier than your “normal” wake-up time. When you wake up early, you have time to grab that cup of coffee, pray or meditate, have a few moments to yourself, plan your day, create your to do list, etc. It’s the same idea with this.. start preparing for 2020 now!
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”