4 Steps to Clarify What You Want in Life

Are you feeling confused about which direction to take in life? Do you know what you really want in life? I am about to share with you the 4 steps that you need to take to clarify what you really want.

Before you set any goal, before you create any plan of action, you first need to identify what it is that you really want. So, I am going to walk you through the steps to clarify what it is that you really want. That way, you don’t waste time taking unnecessary steps or investing in something that you don’t really want to invest in. We only get one life on earth, so let’s make the most of it!

The reason so many people feel stuck and lack a sense of direction in life is because they have not taken time to get clear about what they really want. Sure, they have a few ideas that sound good, but rarely are those ideas their own. Instead, they are ideas that other people have projected onto them, as innocently as “hey, I think you’d be great at such and such..” But, when it’s all said and done, it’s not really what he/she is passionate about. It’s not really what they want to do. So, the real question is, how do you identify exactly what it is that you want to do? What do you want to spend your time doing most? Because, let’s face it, it’s easy to get caught up in what sounds good or looks good on paper, only to soon find yourself unhappy. A common example of this is in the work place. I mean, how many people are really, honestly and truly happy with their career? How many people wake up without dreading what they’re about to spend the next 8 or so hours of their life doing? Not enough.

My hope is that you are not one of them. Not only that, but I want you to know that, that doesn’t have to be your story. It is possible, that you can wake up every day, looking forward to the days endeavors. But first, you’ve got to get clear about what you really want. And then, you can go about setting a goal and creating a plan that will give you the best possible shot at achieving what you want to achieve.

The 1rst step to clarifying what you want is to confront everything you think you want. This includes everything people have told you that you should do and want for yourself, etc. To do this, I encourage you to get in a quiet place, with a note pad (paper or on your cellphone or laptop) and create a list of everything that comes to mind. Try not to think too hard about it. Once you are done creating your list, get up and do something else.. Go wash the dishes, go for a walk, make a phone call.. Just do something else, but keep your mind off of the list. Once you’re done, go back and re-read your list. Accept what is on the list as “what was.” After you’ve done this, either throw away the list or delete it completely. Hopefully, you’ll find that you feel “free” of what you wrote down.

The 2nd step is to meditate. You have several options for this. You can do a meditation on your own, or you can go on YouTube and find a guided meditation to follow. You can also opt to download an app such as Calm or HeadSpace. Also, the meditation doesn’t have to be long. I’d suggest doing 5 to 15 minutes or however long you need. The point of taking this step is to clear your mind and to regain control of your thoughts.

The 3rd step is to complete a visualization exercise. Now, I have a specific visualization exercise that I will be using with my coaching clients. However, you can find many guided visualization exercises on YouTube. One that I recommend using can be found HERE. Completing a visualization exercise is an important step, because this is where you have a blank canvas and begin to dig deep and create your dream life. You, in a sense, use your imagination to create your ideal future, what that that looks like. You envision what you really want in a world where anything is possible and there are no limitations.

Note: In step one, you are confronting limiting thought/beliefs and releasing them. In step two, your’e creating a blank canvas. Step three is where you will discover and create. Then, you should be ready to identify what needs to be done to make your dream become your reality.

Step 4 is to write the vision and make it plain. This is where you transfer what you saw in your imagination onto paper. There are different ways that you can do this, however, two of my favorite ways are 1) Journaling and 2) Scripting. If you choose to journal, you are going to approach this as a freestyle activity. What I mean by this, is that you’re going to write about what you want freely. There is no particular structure to follow. Whereas, with scripting, you’re going to write as if it is happening in that very moment. So, you’ll say things like “I am” and “I have.” And, this is where you’ll begin to manifest what you want. The key to this step, whether you’re journaling or scripting, is to emotionally connect to what it is that you’re writing. Get in touch, using your senses and describe them in your journal/script. And, as you re-read what you’ve written, be sure to feel the emotions as if you already have what you want, as if you’re already living that life.

Once you have completed the 4rth step, you can choose to save or delete what you have written. But, after you’ve re-read it, put it away and walk away. Piggy-backing off of step one, you’ll want to release the desire into the atmosphere and trust God with it. Later, you can come back and set a strategic goal, create a plan of action and begin taking the necessary steps to make it happen!

As always, feel free to share your thoughts below!

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