Float Therapy for Stress and Anxiety Relief: First Time Experience!

If you have been feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, stressed and you haven’t had “me time” in a long time.. I can’t wait to share this with you! I promise I don’t share this to brag – But, I have just experienced the most peaceful and enlightening hour of my life! And, I couldn’t have asked for a better experience after having been on the edge of burnout and having been overwhelmed, anxious and depressed. I hadn’t felt like myself in awhile and this experience I’m about to share with you, left me feeling.. revived!

Months ago, I talked to my husband about an idea I had.. to book a hotel in a city miles and miles from home, request a day off work and to take a 3 day weekend for a much needed, solo staycation. I did just that and I honestly cannot wait to do it again. During my staycation I spent time praying, meditating, journaling, facing some hard truths – cried a bit – released some hurtful things I’d been holding onto, I drove around and explored the city, had a bubble bath and I thoroughly enjoyed having No TV, No social media, No emails, No Netflix/Hulu/Movies etc. the ENTIRE weekend! Having that time to disconnect and distance myself from all distractions and really just love on ME was the reset I needed. On the drive back home, I could not stop smiling… I felt a genuine excitement about life and renewed self confidence that I hadn’t felt in a long time. And, that in itself is a gift!

For those of us who are goal oriented, who are always busy, always on the go or have many responsibilities that often leave us feeling drained, it is essential to our mental health and to improving our overall quality of life, that we are intentional about our self-care. And, if it requires picking a date on the calendar, scheduling time off, physically retreating away from home, away from our jobs and life stressors – that’s what we must do. We work hard, we give and give and give… However, we should never wait until we are running on empty before we take time for our cups to be refilled. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and your family, friends, career, business and YOU – deserve the best of you! Not the last drops lingering at the bottom of your cup. That is why self-care is not selfish.

The highlight of my solo staycation was my first Visit to True Rest Float Spa. If you haven’t heard of float therapy, float therapy, also known as sensory deprivation, is where you float on water, filled with epsom salt which allows you to simply float. Float therapy is known to promote pain relief, stress and anxiety relief, relaxation and better sleep.

My experience was phenomenal. As soon as I walked through the front door, it was as if I entered the zone of zen! The vibe was soo peaceful and soothing. I was greeted with music so serene and the customer service was top tier. But, what I wish to remember most is my first float experience inside the pod. When I stepped into the water and attempted to lie back, I felt a sudden rush of anxiety. Up until that point it had been pure excitement with a hint of nervousness. I learned soo much in the first 20 minutes. It legit took me about 10 minutes before I finally, successfully willed myself to lie back and allow my body to float.

At first, I kept trying to support my body by holding onto the pod walls and having my arms touch the pod floor. After I finally stopped trying to support my body, I started to float. But, even then, I kept feeling my body sink slightly, because I was extremely tense in my mid-section. Even then, I was still trying to support my body. Eventually, I started a deep breathing exercise and slowly my body began to relax. There was a point where I thought about just sitting upright in pod and spending the time remaining meditating. I had to keep reminding myself of how badly I wanted this experience and how it was already garaunteed that my body would float effortlessly, I just needed to stop putting in the effort. I needed to let go.

The biggest lesson I learned about myself during my first float therapy experience is that my stress, anxiety and depression largely stems from my constant need to be in control. In every aspect of my life, I want to have some type of control, because my trust has been damaged of the years. People are human, people are imperfect, we makes mistakes and that sometimes results in us being hurt. Fear of being rejected or hurt can be paralyzing. For some, it prevents us from doing certain things like pursuing our dreams. For me, I have relied so much on information. I like to know what’s going on, why someone made a certain decision, what’s going to happen.. Even if it’s just a clue and not the full picture, I find comfort and a sense of control in knowing. But, life is quite literally full of surprises – some good, some bad, some that don’t allow me to be in control.

In that pod, it was not until I released full control of HOW I was going to float that I was finally able to float. During the remainder of my float, I did not meditate much or fall asleep. I basked in gratitude. Gratitude for that moment, for that opportunity, for that experience and for the lesson learned. But, what was the most significant for me during my float, was the realization that all the times I want to run away from my problems, all the times I wish to hibernate, and to hit reset.. I can.

I believe that God wants us to cast all of our worries, doubts, frustrations and problems onto him and he wants us to leave them there.

In that pod, I thought about my life stressors – all the things I was angry and frustrated about and I made up in my mind to leave them in that pod. That when I stepped out, they were not going with me. I also had strong sense of gratitude for the reminder that God knew that I would be floating in that pod that day and that he allowed that hour to be carved out just for me to do exactly what I’d been craving to do – hibernate. In a pod, lid closed, floating as if on a cloud, with all my worries, my job, my responsibilities, far far away.

The thing is… God wants us to be able to pray to him, casting all of our cares upon him, to leave them there and just float… Resting in Him. Hiding in Him. Trusting in Him. But in order to float, we have to release. We have to let go. I realized that if I can work on releasing my need to control, I will then be able to just float. That sounds much better than constantly worrying about how something is going to work out. It’s okay to set goals, plan, and execute. But, there will be times when we’ve done our part and then we just need to lie back and let things play out.

1 Peter 5: 7 Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you (NLT).

Letting go is easier said than done some times. I experienced that not only in my daily life, but also in the first 15 minutes inside that pod. I can’t deny how free and refreshed I felt after leaving the float spa that day. It was what I needed and I encourage you , if you have never heard of float therapy – definitely look it up and try it out. If you have tried float therapy before, I’d love for you to comment and share your experience below! Also, be sure to subscribe to the blog because in the next post we’ll be talking about different ideas, ways to incorporate self-care into our busy lives daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annually! Have blessed week!

The Uninvited Guests: When Anxiety and Depression Knock

Head sinks into a pillow soaked with tears

Heartbeat’s thumping in my ears

Chest tightens

Body is tense

I can feel every muscle in my body contracting

Scattered thoughts

Nothing makes sense anymore

In this present moment I’m reliving past pain

And tormenting myself with worry of the future

Drowning in overwhelming sadness

Longing for the courage to end it all

This pattern is seemingly so senseless and repetitive

I wonder, why do I continue to torture myself this way?

I’ve studied, I’ve prayed

I’ve prepared for this kind of moment

Time and time again

Yet it comes, often without warning

And the will to fight it fades

The thoughts come stampeding through

Trampling over every positive affirmation I’ve tattooed on my heart

I should talk to somebody, reach out for help

But I don’t

Because I feel like a burden, like an afterthought

So much hurt and pain in the world

People with “real” problems and concerns

And, I’m over here waging a war against my own thoughts

The stress I feel, pumping like blood through my veins

It all began with a thought

A lie disguised as truth

An uninvited guest

It’s come to visit before

Maybe, I should have saw it coming

Yesterday was a good day

I showed up, I smiled, I laughed

I survived

Nobody noticed the pain in my eyes

Nobody noticed the strain in my voice

Nobody heard my silence

The people who love me, the people who care

They didn’t see it

They couldn’t sense that something was wrong

And in that moment of recognizing this

I felt more alone and disconnected than ever before

After countless cycles of tossing and turning

I sit up in bed and close my eyes

And proceed to take deep breaths

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat

I push myself to reset my mind

I center my attention on something positive

I think of only this

And in that moment, I begin to calm

(Extended excerpt from “Uninvited Guest” – Let’s Be Real: The Secrets of My Soul Exposed by Kezia Arterberry)

I share this excerpt from a poem in my latest book, Let’s Be Real, because I believe it paints an authentic picture of my struggle with anxiety and depression. This poem was written a few years ago, but it depicts what anxiety and depression often looks like for me.

Anxiety and depression does not always look the same for everybody. It varies. In the same way that – we all have different trauma and triggers and different perceptions and responses.

I’m no stranger to sharing about my personal experiences and journey to managing my own stress, anxiety and depression on this blog. I share my experiences and story along with tips and strategies, in hope that I can empower, inspire and remind someone going through a similar experience that they are not alone. And, the tips and strategies that I have shared and will continue to share, are usually things that I have done or am doing myself that have been helpful OR that I’ve learned, or witnessed with my clients over the year, as I have been in the behavior health field for a little over 5 years now.

Moment of transparency..

During the 5 years that I have worked in the behavior health field, I have had the opportunity to work with adults with serious mental illness, at-risk youth, many who have a history of trauma, and adults with co-occurring SMI and substance abuse. The “non-secret” is that the 5 years I’ve worked in the field, have not been worked consecutively.

After 4 and 1/2 years, I took a “break.” However, that “break” was unintentional. My intention was, I was done and did not want to work in this field ever again. I was burnt out and ready for something completely different. During my break, I WFH at a call center in the health field. I was still helping people but… I was not destined to stay. I worked that job for 3 years, things realigned and I landed back in behavior health field as a behavior health case manager. Yeah!

We all experience stress, anxiety and depression – but there’s levels to this thing! Stress, anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, low self-esteem etc… They are all UNINVITED GUESTS and they like to knock on our doors.

When I tell you I had no intention of going back, I mean that! I was done – done, because, I was legit afraid of not being able to handle working in such a high stress environment, when I was struggling to manage my own stress, anxiety and at times, depression! It’s was too hot for me to handle! Soo, I quit.

Before I quit, I was showing up. I was putting forth my best effort. Until I no longer wasn’t. Eventually, I became overwhelmed and then burnt out. I started to slack, take days off work just to rest, I lacked motivation, I complained all the time, and honestly, I was just unhappy with the environment I was working in. Before I left, I realized that the motivating factors that kept me there as long as I was, no longer had anything to do with the job I was there to do. That’s when I knew it was time to go.

As time as passed, I have learned a lot more about myself as it relates to my personal mental health and wellness journey. And I mean A LOT. Something I learned more recently is that a lot of what I have experienced over the years, and even over the past month and a half is something, I really don’t hear discussed as frequently…

As the conversation on mental health awareness and ending the stigma expands (YAY!), when it comes to anxiety and depression specifically, I’ve heard a lot about anxiety and depression, what it is, what it looks like, how we can manage it etc. However, I haven’t heard so much about high functioning anxiety and high functioning depression.

High-functioning anxiety is commonly described as an individual who experiences anxiety and still manages their daily life well. High-functioning depression is commonly described as an individual who experiences depression and still completes daily obligations. For example, person A (Jack) and person B (Jill) are both depressed.

On Monday, Jack doesn’t get out of bed, doesn’t shower, has low mood, low energy, lacks appetite, and has been having trouble sleeping. Jack has not been able to work lately and has begun seeing a psychiatrist for medication management and has received a letter of disability to provide to his employer. Jack will remain on leave until he is ready to return to work. For Jack, every day for the past few weeks has looked a lot like Monday. Jack has recognized his need for additional support and has sought out professional help and hopes to go back to work and engage in social activities like before.

Jill is depressed too. However, on Monday, Jill wakes up at 5:30am, after hitting snooze several times prior, showers, eats breakfast, drives to work, and clocks in for her shift at 8am. Jill socializes with her coworkers, laughs and smiles, and works hard – doing their very best! For Jill, every day for the past few weeks have looked just like Monday!

Jill’s coworkers and family have no idea that every now and then, Jill leaves her shared-office and will spend a few minutes in the restroom stall just to have a few isolated moments to… breathe. Jill goes straight home after work, every day, and most days she crawls into bed and cries herself to sleep. On a better day, Jill might ditch the bed and instead, will spend hours on the coach, watching movies and show because for Jill, it is a distraction from reality, thoughts and emotions or something from her past she’d much rather forget.

Jill has been struggling with suicidal ideation. She has also been experiencing a bit of social anxiety, so Jill has started ordering groceries online because shopping in a crowded store like Wal-Mart has become too overwhelming for her, to where she feels like she’s on the verge of a panic attack just from walking through the store. Overall, Jill is able to function, manage her life, and complete daily living skills without support.

Often times, it’s easier to recognize when someone is struggling and may be experiencing anxiety or depression like Jack versus someone like Jill. Those who can relate to Jill often blend in, in the sense that, objectively, they may appear just like someone who is NOT, at that time, experiencing anxiety or depression. But the reality is that, although it’s not as visually or audibly obvious to others, they can be struggling to manage anxiety and/or depression all the same.

I share this post for two reasons:

Firstly, I can relate to Jill. Many days, I feel like Jack, but every day, I show up as Jill. I show up, I function, I take care of business, but when I get a moment alone or when I get home after a stressful day, I sometimes feel very much like Jack. But, what I’d like to highlight is that – Not only is it challenging for the individual who is experiencing the anxiety or depression first hand, but it can also be challenging for their loved ones also!

Secondly, I want help create more awareness because for as long as I’ve been in the field.. Honestly, I have not thought about or really studied as much on the high-functioning aspect of anxiety or depression. It wasn’t until I began working my current job where I really comprehended the fact that while there are many individuals who are living on social security disability and are not working anymore for mental health reasons, there are also many individuals who ARE going to work every day, raising their children, supporting their families, running one or multiple of their own business but are still struggling too!

What I am learning from my own mental health journey and as I help others with theirs is that while we may wish to ban these uninvited guests from our lives for good, it does not always work that way. In those cases, the key to survival is management. Stress-management, managing anxiety, and managing depression. The better we are at managing it, the better quality of life we can have overall.

I was afraid to start working in the behavior health field again, but I’m here. And, I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be. My prayer is that God will give me the strength and capability to manage my stress, anxiety and depression (I’m working on it 😜) in a way that will allow me to continue to show up and make a positive impact in the lives of others.

Just a friendly reminder to all – check on your quiet AND your loud family and friends, and your introverted AND your extroverted family and friends. You never know what someone may be going through. A quick text or call to check in can go a long way.

It’s Launch Day!! Free E-Book on Managing and Overcoming Self-Doubt

Hey Set Goals & Slay family!! Thank you for your support and thank you for subscribing to my blog. I am super excited to share this FREE offer with you: 10 Questions to Managing and Overcoming Self-Doubt, Printable, E-BOOK.

Self-doubt has held so many of us back from pursuing our goals, manifesting our dreams and walking FULLY in our God given purpose. That is what inspired me to put together this EXIT strategy – this E-book. This E-book can help you uncover where your feelings and thoughts of self-doubt stems from. This benefit in uncovering is that – you will learn in the e-book, things you can to do begin healing, managing and overcoming self- doubt, but those things are most effective AFTER you have identified WHY you feel self-doubt, where it stems from.

If you have been procrastinating or avoiding taking that NEXT step you know you need to take to pursue your goal; this e-book is for you. This is not a cure all, as we all experience moments of self-doubt from time to time. However, it is GAME CHANGING when you know how to manage it – that is how you overcome… day by day, step by step, moment by moment.

I encourage you to download your free copy below, to use the blank pages or your own notebook to journal after reading and meditating over each question. And to just be super open and honest with yourself.

I pray you find this e-book helpful in your journey to managing and overcoming self-doubt and that you will pursue your goals, manifest your dreams and live your life operating in your God given purpose with boldness!

DOWNLOAD NOW

Rating: 5 out of 5.

FREE EBOOK: 10 Questions to Managing and Overcoming Self-Doubt

If self-doubt has been holding you back from pursuing your goal, this e-book + journal is for you!

FREE E-BOOK DROPPING ON APRIL 1, 2023 AT 11:11PM!

JOIN THE MAILING LIST BELOW TO GET THE LINK ON 4/1/23!

This book will help you:

  • Understand self-doubt
  • Ask key questions that will help you gain clarity and better understand where the self-doubt stems from
  • Build a foundation on which one can begin to manage, heal and ultimately overcome the self-doubt!

We all experience moments of self-doubt. And, self-doubt has held and is holding many from:

  • Taking a leap of faith
  • Setting and pursing their goals
  • Going after their dreams
  • Sharing their story
  • Breaking generational curses

It’s time to say “NO” to self-doubt. It’s time to put self-doubt in it’s rightful place. It’s time to speak LIFE to our hopes and dreams. It’s time to walk into our future with boldness. It’s time to walk IN our God given purpose with courage. It’s time to know and embrace who God has created us to be!

This journal is composed of 10 questions and journal entries that will guide you in uncovering and understanding what is causing your self-doubt.

Join the mailing list below (subscribe to the blog) to get the link emailed to you on release day!

Do You Have Too Many Goals? Steps to Beat the Overwhelm, Organize + Prioritize Your Personal Goals for 2023

Do you have a lot of different goals that you want to pursue in 2023?

Do you have soo many goal, that it’s almost overwhelming to think about?

Do you feel a bit flustered when you think about where to even begin?

Sit tight. This blog post is for… us! Because, I know the feeling!

I mean, is there really a thing as having too many goals?

Yes. However, it is not a bad problem to have! Like many things, it’s all about HOW you manage it.

I get it. I promise you. I also have a lot of goals. Some, I didn’t achieve in 2022, I haven’t given up on. I’ve just carried them over to 2023.

The hack I’m using this year, to stay organized and beat the overwhelm is to:

💎Make a list of ALL of the goals that you want to achieve or work on in 2023

💎Separate the goals into categories: Spiritual, Financial, Career, Health & Fitness, Personal Development, Self-Care, etc.

💎 If you have multiple goals for a specific category, select 1 – 3 of those goals to focus on for the first quarter of the year (Jan – March 31).

💎 For each goal that you achieve by then end of the 1st quarter, replace it with a new goal to work on in quarter 2.

The idea is to replace each goal that you accomplish in one quarter, with another goal in the next. This is helpful, because balance is key! You don’t want to burn out or get so overwhelmed that you give up. If you’ve got too much going on, it is okay to move a goal to the next quarter.

It is better to be effective in pursuit of your goal than to simply be busy.

Bonus Tips

💎 Break each of your goals into small action steps. Identify things that you can daily, weekly and monthly, until you reach your goal.

💎 If you feel like you need to hit pause on a goal and pursue it later, do it. It’s okay. However, I encourage, intentionally, approaching it with the mindset that you are hitting pause until the next quarter. Prior to starting the next quarter, revisit your action plan and see if there are any adjustments you can make that would allow you to still actively work towards the goal in the next quarter, rather than giving up on it or postponing it altogether.

Small steps count. ALL steps matter!

Pause vs Postponing

Pause vs Stopping

Try to focus on making progress rather than racing to the finish line.

When you set your goals, I always recommend setting a date, because it is a great way to hold yourself accountable. Each time you review your goals/action plan and see the date – you can really reflect and measure your progress better. It forces you to be more honest with yourself about how you’re doing and how you’ve been managing your time. However, however, however! IF you feel like like you tend to focus more on achieving the goal by the date more than the action steps and progress made… Then, I recommend NOT setting a date at all. Why? Because, it’s almost symbolic of removing unnecessary pressure. It gives you wiggle room to pivot and make adjustments to your action plan more freely. If you feel like you have to stick to the original plan and constantly thinking of hitting a specific deadline, it can cause unnecessary overwhelm.

Center your focus on enjoying the journey in working towards your goal and who you are becoming in the process, rather than just looking forward to reaching your destination!

I have a family friend who would always say, ” It’s all in the mind.” And, he’s so right. Everything is mindset. It really is all IN the mind. Because, our mindset usually dictates our actions.

Think to pause rather than giving up.

I thank you for reading this blog post. And, if you’ve found these tips helpful, I ask that you please share the post on your social media pages. If you would like more help with following through on your 2023 goals, click the link below to learn more about the Set Goals & Slay E-course and read client review!

Happy New Year Set Goals & Family

Aligned for Purpose: How to Align Yourself & Your Goals with Your Purpose

Aligned for Purpose: How to Align Yourself and Your Goals with Your Purpose

We made it y’alll! We survived yet another, challenging year. It’s a blessing to be alive and I am super excited about todays blog topic. We are closing out the year, talking about how to align with our purpose!

We were all created with purpose attached to our lives. We each were created to give and to bring glory to God – we worship with our lives. We are blessed with talent, skills and abilities to help us manifest His purpose for our lives, in the earth, by sharing them with the world. Our purpose will always be something that can benefit another person in a positive way. It’s never just about us. We all have a history, we each have a story and a key part of our purpose is to share our story – even though how we share it may not be in the same way as the next person. One way of sharing your story is not more significant than another. That is why vulnerability and authenticity is so powerful!

I want to see us each living our lives operating aka walking IN our God given purpose with boldness.

As we dive in, there are 3 key areas that we will be zeroing in on:

PURPOSE

CORE VALUES

GOALS

First and foremost, it beneficial to discover what your life purpose is. Purpose discovery is important because you can spend a lifetime coming to understand what that purpose is as you continue to walk IN it. For instance; I have discovered that my life purpose is to empower individuals to discover and walk in their God given purpose with boldness, to love God and people, to serve, to create, to be fruitful and ultimately to give and to bring glory to God. I was created for His purpose. So with all of my goals and plans, I do my best to pray and surrender them and to seek him for guidance, so that whatever I do is fulfilling His vision, His plan for my life.

So, in order to align with your purpose and for your goals to be aligned with your purpose, it is helpful to:

▪︎ Understand who you are and who God has created you to be.

▪︎ Know what your life purpose/calling is and commit to life-long learning to understand what that purpose is as you grow and evolve each day. This is great to keep in mind, because your purpose or life calling can be fulfilled in more than one way. And, that is where seasons come into play.

Just like how each season – winter, spring, summer and fall each have characteristics that make them unique from the others such as weather and color of the grass and leaves, likewise, in our lives we experiences season – spiritually, mentally/emotionally, physically, financially, etc. Not only that, but the seasons can shift at different times, throughout each area of our lives. You could be excelling in your health while struggling financially. The season can shift to where you gain new employment and generate higher income to where you are no longer struggling financially but you may still continue to struggle with a physical health challenge.

Seasons change and your purpose can manifest in different ways in different seasons as well.

▪︎ Identify your core values. What are your core beliefs about yourself, about the world, about your purpose? What is most important to you?

Common core values include: honesty, integrity, accountability and kindness. When you complete new hire training with a new employer, one of the first things you may learn about the company are their core values. Core values represents what is most important to them and they may also look to hire individuals whose character and experience aligns with those values.

As an example, the core values of Set Goals and Slay LLC. are integrity, ambition and commitment (to doing the work necessary to build one’s confidence, shift one’s mindset and to achieve one’s goals).  My personal core values are passion, ambition, faith and perseverance.

The third key to aligning with your purpose are your goals. Your goals must be in alignment with your purpose! Your purpose remains, but your goals can can change like the four seasons.

To manifest is to display or show, to become apparent to become clear and visible to the eye. The link between wishes and dreams becoming reality are goals. In order for goals to turn those wishes into reality, you must manifest.

Manifesting takes work. It is an action. It is more than writing out your goals and reciting affirmations. It is more than vision boards and vision books. It takes strategic and consistent action. It requires commitment to doing what most people won’t do. It takes follow-through.

What does walking in your purpose look like? What specific things will you do that differentiates actively walking in your purpose vs not walking in your purpose?

Maybe it’s writing a book, maybe its earning a degree or starting a business, maybe it’s volunteering at a local shelter once or twice a month.. Whatever it is, you should have goals and a strategic plan of action mapped out for them. Your goal(s) should be broken down into specific action steps that you can take, some daily, weekly and monthly, until you achieve your goal. For each goal, it is helpful to identify limitations and limiting beliefs that may hinder you from following through on the goal.

Sometimes, we don’t follow through on a goal we’ve set, not because the goal is too hard to reach, but because we have reached a specific step that we must take that we don’t want to, don’t know how to or just can’t. And, suddenly the dream is on pause and on the back burner…

But, now is the time to take our goal and dreams off of the back burner!

Now is the time to place it onto the front burner and to turn the heat up. Set goals, create a plan and start taking strategic action. Stay consistent. Show up and manifest the vision that God has given you. Review your goals routinely to make sure that you are still in alignment with your purpose. Remember that we go through seasons, including seasons of rest. During those seasons of rest, take time to relax, reflect and recharge.

Walk in your God given purpose with boldness in 2023!

If you struggled to follow through on your goals in 2022 and you don’t want a repeat in 2023, I invite you to take the Set Goals & Slay E-Course: The Strategy You Need to Set Goals and Slay.

In the course, I walk you, step by step, to implement a blueprint for breaking through limitations/limiting-beliefs, setting SMART goals and creating a game-plan that tells you not only how you’re going to get to where you want to be, but enables you to pinpoint what your next move can be if/when something pops up that would otherwise prevent you from following through on your goals.

It is a self-paced course, which includes a digital/printable workbook and an abundance of worksheets. And, what you learn can be applied to goals in each area of your life from financial to career to social, personal goals.

Click the link below to learn more and read client reviews!

LEARN MORE

Have blessed week and Happy Holiday!

How to Manage and Overcome Self-Doubt

We were each created uniquely yet equally. While we may come from different races, backgrounds, cultures and experience, there are a few commonalities. We bleed the same color blood and we all have moments of self-doubt. We all face things in life that challenge us to step outside of our comfort zones. There are some things that we are more comfortable and confident doing than others.

While self-doubt can be experienced in all aspects of our lives, right now I want us to center our attention on the self-doubt we feel when it comes to pursuing our goals.

Do you have any goals that you have been wanting to pursue but you’ve been putting it off for awhile now? Or, maybe you have started pursuing your goal, but you’ve reached a step that you’re hesitant to take? If your answer is yes, my question to you is, are you ready to do what it takes to overcome your self-doubt so that you can stop procrastinating and pursue your goal; take that next step?

If you’re ready, let’s dive in!

First, I want you to know that self-doubt is something we ALL struggle with from time to time. Even the most well known, most confident and successful people on earth experience moments of self-doubt. However, the game-changer for many, is knowing how to manage their thoughts and feelings of self-doubt.

In a recent post, we discussed the power of negative self-talk. And, one of the points I shared, is relevant here as well. It is that negative thoughts will always come, we can’t just get rid of them for good. But, that is why we must learn to manage those negative thoughts, because most often our actions align with what our thoughts, beliefs and intents are.

In order to manage your thoughts, you must be self-aware. You want to be alert, to where, when a negative thought pops up, you catch it and correct it. You sit and observe the negative thought or emotion and then you release it. You release it by replacing it with a positive affirmation. This is why I always suggest creating a habit of writing + speaking positive affirmations daily. It helps rewire your thought pattern. So when something that is not in alignment with your positive thought pattern arises, you flag it, catch it and correct it. The more you do it, the more self-aware you become and the easier it becomes to do.

So, what is self-doubt exactly?

Self-doubt is feelings of uncertainty or lack of confidence in your ability to do a specific thing.

If you can identify with any of the signs listed above, you may find this helpful!

Here is a List of Things That Can Help You to Manage and Overcome Self-Doubt

▪︎ Look into discovering the root reason of why


▪︎ Social Media Detox


▪︎ Therapy


▪︎ Journaling

▪︎ Practice positive self-talk


▪︎ Remind yourself of past achievements


▪︎ Avoid comparing yourself to others


▪︎ Challenge yourself routinely to step outside of your comfort zone


▪︎ Focus MORE on WHY you want to pursue a goal and LESS on why you’re not ready, qualified, worthy, good enough etc.


▪︎ Put some R.E.S.P.E.C.T. on your WORTH. Validate yourself and hold that to heart. Work on not allowing your confidence to rise and fall based on the opinions other people have about you! How YOU see yourself is what matters most! If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t speak life over your hopes and dreams, if you don’t practice positive self-talk, you’re less likely to even accept validation or compliments from other people anyway.

A good way to gage where you’re at and how you’re doing is by becoming self-aware of how you react when people compliment you. If you have a tendency of denying or brushing off compliments, all the time, this could be a sign that you struggle with self-doubt.

What I would recommend next is to spend some time looking into the root cause of the self-doubt you feel.

If you’re not sure where to start, I encourage answering the following questions as journal entries:

▪︎ How do you feel about yourself, specifically, your ability to puruse and achieve your goals?

▪︎ How long have you felt this way?

▪︎ Is there anyone who has contributed to your beliefs about yourself?

▪︎ Did you experience something in your past that caused you to feel these same feelings of self-doubt?

▪︎ What do you do when you feel self-doubt? (Procrastinate, Avoidance, Anxious, etc.)

▪︎ How would you like to see your negative thoughts about yourself/your abilities change?

▪︎ What do you want to believe about yourself?

▪︎ What do you do/say when people compliment you?

▪︎ How would you like to feel when people compliment you?

▪︎ What can you do to transform your thoughts? (Practice positve self-talk, etc.)

▪︎ What will happen if you don’t change your thought patterns and beliefs about yourself? What will happen if you do change your thought pattern and beliefs about yourself?

Answering these questions should help you get to the root of your self-doubt and to also begin strategizing how you can manage and overcome it. It’s important to get to the root of why you are doubting yourself and where it stems from so that when you do any of the things suggested on the list above, it can be effective.

Also note that if you feel like you’d do better with additional support in working through these questions, therapy or life coaching are great alternatives to just solely going the self-help route.

I hope that this information has been helpful. Thank you for reading!

As 2022 comes to an end, many of us have begun reflecting on the year. If you feel like you have been procrastinating or struggling to take the next steps towards pursuing and achieving your goals, I invite you to learn more about the Set Goals & Slay E:Course designed to help you to align your goals & dreams with the ✅️ mindset and ✅️ game-plan to execute! If you want 2023 to be the year where you finally step outside of your comfort zone and pursue your goals & dreams, this is a great way to start!

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The Power of Negative Self-Talk and How to Deal With It, So You Can Stop Procrastinating & Pursue Your Goals

On the blog, lately, we have been diving into the most common things holding may people back from pursuing their goals and dreams. We’re about to dive into another great topic and this one happens to hit home for me. It’s time to talk about negative self-talk!

Negative self-talk is talking negatively to yourself and about yourself.

Negative self-talk is only a symptom of the root cause which is one’s mindset.

Your mindset is influenced by your experiences, which shape your core beliefs and view of yourself, the world and your ability to achieve your goals in this world. If you struggle to speak life over yourself, your goals and dreams, and if you struggle to believe the best about your abilities, gifts and talents, I encourage you to take a look into WHY.

Get in a quiet place, pull out a journal, ask yourself and answer these questions. Be honest with yourself.

📌What do you believe about yourself?

📌How do you see you yourself?

📌How do you think other people see you?

📌What events from your past have shaped your beliefs about yourself today?

Once you have answered these questions, you have a good foundation to build upon.

The next building block is to take strategic action to begin shifting and reshaping your mindset; your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. Because, how you perceive yourself has a lot to do with your self-talk.

Writing and speaking positive affirmations is helpful to reshaping your thought patterns. But, it’s like trying to treat the symptoms of an illness without dealing with the route issue IF you don’t actually identify and deal with the root issue.

It may take therapy, prayer and time. But, I encourage you to be intentional about practicing positive self-talk consistently. Because, what you speak is powerful and it matters, if you want to set goals and slay them. How you talk about yourself, and what you speak to yourself, that no one else can hear, is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. Your actions typically reflect your beliefs. When you get your mindset (belief/perspective of yourself) right, your self-talk will align and so will your actions!

When you believe that you are more than a conqueror, when you believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, your self-talk and your actions should reflect that.

I am preparing to launch my self-care candle line called Align Allure Luxury Candle Bar. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years, but it was always just a wish or dream. I never seriously considered actually doing it until one day, I got thought of an idea for concept and then it was like… Why not me? And, that was followed by thoughts like, why not now? And, let me tell you, I was able to come up with multiple, valid reason why I should wait or just not ever do it at all. I battled a lot of negative thoughts… About what other people might say, what other people might think, how I don’t have enough time, money or space to pull it off. ALL the things man, all the things, I thought of. And yet, I still did it. After all of that, I went for it anyway.

Even as I began to take action, to bring my dream to life, I kept quiet about it, because I was ashamed. I was ashamed of the fact that I’m using a vendor to hand-pour my candles, even though it was a SOLUTION to my temporary problem of lack of space and time to be hands on in some aspects of my candle business. Even as I type this, I feel the urge to backspace this entire paragraph. But, I’m willing to expose my feelings of shame, because it has led to negative self-talk, which is what we don’t want. As I mentioned, it is important to deal with the root cause.

What is my root cause here? My fear of rejection. There are people, events, things that happened in my past that caused me to develop a fear of rejection. One of the ways I deal with this root cause is by consistently challenging myself to do things that I would otherwise procrastinate on or just not ever do, due to fear of what someone might say or think. The negative thoughts will come, I acknowledge and process them, I speak positive affirmation (I write and speak my affirmations to myself daily) and then I move forward with ACTION. Repeat. That’s the strategy, that’s the formula. Do it over and over and over again.

It’s not a once a day, one a month or one a year ritual. It’s simply a tool to help you WIN that particular battle in your mind and you can do it anytime a negative thought bombards your mind. I’m especially talking about those negative thoughts that pop up daily or every time you think about pursuing your goal.

After you have answered the questions listed above. Think about how you can effectively DEAL with your root issue(s) and HEAL.

Again, it may tike time, prayer AND therapy. Some things, like negative thoughts, will always be around. You just have to learn how to COPE. I hope what I have shared here is helpful for you. Get what you need, do what you need to do, so that you can pursue your goals and dreams and live your life walking in your God given purpose with boldness!

I wish you a blessed week ahead Set Goals & Slay family, thank you for reading!

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How to Minimize Distractions So You Can Pursue & Slay Your Goals

Have you been struggling to follow through with your goals because of distractions? If your answer is yes, you’re in the right place. I have some tips to share with you, that I believe will help you to minimize and even eliminate many of the distractions that may be holding you back from pursuing and slaying your goals!

Before we jump into the information, I want you to know that I understand what it is like to have many things to do and not enough time to do it in. I’ve experienced that during my days as a busy college kid, juggling classes, study-time, extracurricular activities (band practice, games, etc.), free-time with family and friends, church and work!

Post-college, I’ve been on a personal mission to attain a healthy life-balance.. Having quality time for everything that matters most to me. It’s not easy, especially when things are constantly changing and evolving around us.. One minute you’re juggling your day to day life when life happens… Your car breaks down, you get sick or Covid-19 happens… Things happen, and it can be tough to manage everything. And, unfortunately as a result, sometimes our goals can get put on the back burner.

My mission is to empower you with tools and strategies to help your pursue and slay your goals!

Time is valuable. So with that in mind, let’s get straight to the info you came here for shall we?

Here are 3 Keys to Minimizing Distractions So You Can Pursue & Slay Your Goals

📌 Be Intentional with your time, energy, money, etc.

📌 Identify the distractions

📌 Identify what you can do to minimize, eliminate OR work with those distractions

To be intentional with your time you need to MANAGE your time.

Start Here: Identify what truly matters to you. Ask yourself, what are your goals, your priorities, the top things you want to focus and invest your time, money, energy into?

Now, I’m going to share with you some helpful tools to help you manage your time. I’ll warn you though, if you’re not a planner-junkie like me, these tips may seem.. unnecessary! However, if you struggle with time-management… These are a game-changer.

Note: You don’t need to use all of these. But, do consider utilizing the one’s that work best for you.

To-Do List – A to-do list is a great way to organize and keep track of your top priorities. If you decide to use to-do lists, I encourage using multiple to-do lists. For example: one for business, personal/home-life, shopping list, etc. Now, you don’t need a to-do list for every area of your life. But, I find it helpful to have a to-do list for any areas of your life where you feel you struggle most to keep up important tasks.

Using a pen and paper to keep a to-do list a great but if you’re anything like me, you may have a lot to keep up with and the one thing you rarely lose track of is your cell-phone. So, if you’ve got a smart phone, flirt with a few different apps until you find the digital to-do list that is the best suitor for you!

Here are my top recommendations:

  • Kanban Notion
  • Todoist
  • Google Keep
  • Any.do
  • Evernote

Calendar/Planner – Use a calendar/planner that allows you to plan your day, week, month throughout the year. There are different kinds of planners you can use. We will break those down at a different time, but what I recommend is to research the different types of journals (i.e. bullet journal, etc.) and decide which one is the best fit for you. Also, remember that you can decide between having a physical/paper planner, digital or both.


Time-blocking – Use an hourly planner and divide your days into chunks aka time-blocks. Each block of time is dedicated to a specific task(s).

Bonus Tip: Schedule tasks that you are most, not looking forward to tackling at the start of your day rather than the end of your day. Get it done and out of the way and leave the tasks that you most look forward to completing towards the end part of your day so that you have something to look forward too. Just an extra way to motivate yourself throughout your day.

P.S. Don’t forget to schedule time DAILY for R&R. If you can schedule 5 – 15 minute breaks after each time-block, this can help reduce or eliminate stress, overwhelm and burn-out.


Pomodoro Method – This method is great if you are an over-thinker, perfectionist or just struggle with managing your time. It is also really helpful if you work so hard or get caught up with your workflow that you don’t consistently take your breaks. Use this method to help manage your time, focus on quality over quantity and reduce overwhelm.

Here is the breakdown for the Pomodoro Method:

Identify Task

Set a Timer.

Work on the task.

When the timer goes off, take a break (short).

Reset timer, and resume task or move on to the next task.

When timer goes off, take a longer break.

Set the timer to fit your daily schedule as needed. I highly recommend using this method alongside the time-blocking method.

My Top Pomodoro App Recommendations:

  • Focus To-Do
  • Pomo Focus
  • Pomotodo

These apps allows you to set the allotted time you want to work on a task and when the timer goes off… you take a break and then either continue or move on to the next scheduled task.

After that time-block is complete, that’s it for that task. Being intentional goes hand in hand with self-discipline. You’ve got to be disciplined to work during the allotted time, take your breaks and then move on to the next task of the day.

Kanban Boards – I fell in love with Kanban boards this year! I haven’t been using them for long, but it has really been a gamechanger for me. I’m gonna tell you why I use this method. And, if this resonates with you, then download the app quick!

Kanban boards allow you to see your to-do list in a visual form. The boards is made up of 3 sections: Do (To-Do), Doing and Done. If you search Kanban on YouTube, you’ll see examples of how you can create a Kanban board using just your blank wall and sticky notes, you can use a whiteboard or a corkboard. If you enjoy visual interaction, being hands on and creative you may enjoy creating a physical Kanban display board. Or, you may prefer to go the digital route (if not both).

Here are my favorite digital Kanban board Apps:

  • Trello
  • Notion
  • ClickUp
  • Monday.com
  • My Kanban

Bonus Tip:

When you set goals, you should identify specific action steps that you can take daily, weekly and monthly. As you take action, remember to approach it with a quality over quantity mentality.

If you use time-blocking in your scheduling, the time that you have blocked out for a certain activity – focus on being effective during that time with the tasks at hand RATHER THAN focusing on how much you can get done during that period of time.

This helps with managing your time, because it decreases the chances of you having to go back and correct or re-do that task because you were rushing during that time-block.

Stress, overwhelm, anxiety and burn-out… These can be distractions as well, because they can cause you to not be able to to work on a task or to be effective while working on a task.

That is why it is essential to manage your time well, because it helps decrease stress, overwhelm, anxiety and decrease risk of burn-out. It is one form of stress management etc.

Bonus Tip #2

Schedule time to meditate, practice mindfulness, to exercise, to sit down and eat your meals, to spend time with loved ones (including your pets) etc.

Balance is key and if you can manage your time well, then you can find balance ⚖️

The solution to minimize or eliminate distractions is to be intentional with managing your time.

To do that, you must identify what you want to focus on and then you may find it helpful to use planners, to-do lists, time-blocking and timers etc to help you zero in on your focus points and execute.


It’s up to you to schedule time for what matters most at times when external distractions (i.e. phones, social media, noisy neighbors etc.) are low or non-existent.

Now, I use each of the recommendations that I have shared with you today and have spent time researching the benefits of them as well. So, I do believe that these can be game-changing for you as you work to creating a healthy life-balance, where you are managing your time and taking strategic action to achieve your goals. The key is to find what works best for you and then to do it consistently.

If you have found this information helpful, please like, share and subscribe.

I also invite you to check out the Set Goals & Slay E-Course: The Strategy You Need to Set Goals & Slay. This E-course comes with an abundance of worksheets and an E-book to help you create a winning strategy to slay your personal goals. CLICK HERE for more information.

Have an amazing and blessed week Set Goals & Slay Family!



Get Out of Your Way: 7 Steps to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

One of the greatest things that brings me joy is seeing people live their best lives. I love to see people happy, successful and thriving in every area of their lives. That is one of the factors that drives my passion for helping ambitious women break through limitations and limiting beliefs that can often hold us back from leveling up in our life. Especially, when it comes to pursuing our life purpose!

That is why I am so passionate about today topic. Not only that, but it is something that I struggle with from time to time. But, what I’d like to do here is share with you what I have learned, so that we can finally stop sleeping on ourselves and go after our goals and dreams with boldness!

Today, we’re going to zero in on Imposter Syndrome because when you break down what imposter syndrome looks like, you’ll find that it covers many many things that are common reasons for either giving up on a goal or simply not starting. So, let’s jump in.

If you have a goal that you have been wanting to pursue but you’ve been putting it off, I encourage you to take this moment to think about why. Ask yourself, what has been holding you back?

When we procrastinate on pursuing our goals, it is usually because there is a limitation or limiting belief holding us back.

A limitation is any THING that holds us back from taking action. Example: Lack of resources, lack of money, lack of time, not knowing how or where to start, lack of support, lack of motivation etc.

A limiting belief is a negative or false BELIEF that holds us back from taking action. Example: I’m not good enough, I’m not ready yet, I don’t have enough experience, Nobody will take me seriously, etc.

Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.

Signs of Imposter Syndrome:

  • Self-sabotage
  • Self doubt
  • Fear
  • Perfectionism
  • Self criticism
  • Down playing your skills and abilities
  • Not feeling qualified or worthy

Are you a perfectionist? Do you procrastinate when it comes to launching a new product or service, are you waiting for the right time or until you feel more ready, qualified or worthy to publish your book, apply for your dream job or start your business?

Do you feel guilty when you promote your product or service? Do you hesitate or hold back when sharing your qualifications and experience during an interview? Do you downplay what you really bring to the table?

There are different ways that imposter syndrome can show up. And, when we recognize one of these symptoms are at play, it’s essential that we take time to get to the core of that symptom. Get intentional about discovering WHY that fear, self-doubt, self-sabotage, etcetera exists for you. Because once you understand why, then you can effectively begin to manage it.

For example: If your struggle is with fear, once you understand the route of why you are fearful and what triggers it, then you can move forward in feeling the fear and doing what you gotta do anyway.

I’ll use myself as an example.

The 2 symptoms that I struggle the most with is Fear and Down-playing my skills and abilities.

Now, I have my BA is Psychology, I have 5+ years of experience in the Behavior and Mental Health field. I have experience working with adults and children. I also have had my own mental health challenges. And, apart from a college degree and vocational experience, I have studied a attained 3 certifications for life coaching: Life, Solution-focused and goal success. I have spent hours upon hours reading, learning and applying the knowledge I’ve learned.. I don’t know everything. I’m not the best at everything. HOWEVER, I do have quality to bring to the table.

Even with that.. I’ve still doubted and down-played myself soo many times. I’ve spent a lot time procrastinating and being afraid to create and promote my books, products and services, because I have feared being rejected because someone might think I’m too young and not qualified. I have feared not being taken seriously.

This is an example of imposter syndrome. It may look different for you, but what I want you to know, is that it is possible to overcome.

So, with all that being said, here are a few tips to help you overcome and conquer the imposter syndrome:

Please note: This is not a quick fix. These are things that you may have to do each and every time a symptom of imposter syndrome pops up.

Also, keep in mind that these tips are meant to help transform your mindset over time. Your thought processes, your core beliefs.. that is where the shift must occur, so that you can consistently walk in boldness and perform with confidence – in whatever you set out to do, whatever goals you pursue.

1) Remind yourself of who you are and who God has created you to be.

2) Remind yourself of what you bring to the table.

  • Get a notepad and pen and make a list of all of your skills, abilities, talents, gifts and experience
  • Make a list of all the reasons WHY you should pursue your goal despite how you feel

3) Detox your circle.

  • Who are you following on social media? If they do not motivate, encourage, inspire, teach or challenge you in a positive way – then consider unfollowing them
  • Who do you share you goals and dreams with? If they are not a healthy support system, then consider keeping your goals and dreams to yourself. Work in silence – let the results speak for you
  • Evaluate the company you keep. If you are the smartest person in the room… change that. If your circle is not like-minded, consider socially distancing
  • Get intentional about surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who will be an positive light on your journey

4) Practice positive self-talk everyday. Not just when your mind is bombarded with negative thoughts.

5) Make a habit of celebrating the small wins. Acknowledge your accomplishments. If you feel like you’d be bragging – angle to share your accomplishment in a way that teaches or inspires someone else on their own journey.

6) Be honest with your self and others about your strengths and weaknesses. BALANCE is key. When you are honest with yourself and others about your strengths AND weaknesses, you won’t feel like a fraud. AUTHENTICITY is the best approach. If you are hesitant to share your weaknesses because you don’t want to look more like your not ready or qualified, this is where you’ll need to focus more on shifting your mindset.

Shifting your mindset requires you to repeatedly shift your focus onto something else.. In this case, that something would be HOW you perceive your weaknesses. It’s beneficial here to perceive your weaknesses ALSO as strengths. So, try thinking of your weaknesses as something that is also as asset to you because it makes you

  • human
  • relatable
  • authentic

7) My last tip for you is to simply to Challenge Yourself. One thing I am absolutely ashamed of is that fact that I can’t dance. At all. So, I’ve been pushing myself to get moving a bit here and there on some of the videos I post on Instagram and TikTok. I’ve challenged myself to embrace something that I am insecure about, not to make fun of myself, but because I know it’s pushing me outside of my comfort zone. And when I hit post, I feel soo proud of myself for putting myself out there. That is a small win for me that I celebrate each time. And, I feel more confident in spite of, each time I do it.

Taking small steps – challenging yourself is a great way to enhance your confidence in your ability to do certain things.

By implementing these tips into your daily routine or weekly routine, you can really get the upper hand on imposter syndrome. It takes time, it won’t happen over night, but you can get there.

Be encouraged and know that you are not alone on this journey.

If you’re ready to pursue your goals with confidence, I invite you to check out The Set Goals & Slay e-course. Click HERE for more info.

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