How to Manage and Overcome Self-Doubt

We were each created uniquely yet equally. While we may come from different races, backgrounds, cultures and experience, there are a few commonalities. We bleed the same color blood and we all have moments of self-doubt. We all face things in life that challenge us to step outside of our comfort zones. There are some things that we are more comfortable and confident doing than others.

While self-doubt can be experienced in all aspects of our lives, right now I want us to center our attention on the self-doubt we feel when it comes to pursuing our goals.

Do you have any goals that you have been wanting to pursue but you’ve been putting it off for awhile now? Or, maybe you have started pursuing your goal, but you’ve reached a step that you’re hesitant to take? If your answer is yes, my question to you is, are you ready to do what it takes to overcome your self-doubt so that you can stop procrastinating and pursue your goal; take that next step?

If you’re ready, let’s dive in!

First, I want you to know that self-doubt is something we ALL struggle with from time to time. Even the most well known, most confident and successful people on earth experience moments of self-doubt. However, the game-changer for many, is knowing how to manage their thoughts and feelings of self-doubt.

In a recent post, we discussed the power of negative self-talk. And, one of the points I shared, is relevant here as well. It is that negative thoughts will always come, we can’t just get rid of them for good. But, that is why we must learn to manage those negative thoughts, because most often our actions align with what our thoughts, beliefs and intents are.

In order to manage your thoughts, you must be self-aware. You want to be alert, to where, when a negative thought pops up, you catch it and correct it. You sit and observe the negative thought or emotion and then you release it. You release it by replacing it with a positive affirmation. This is why I always suggest creating a habit of writing + speaking positive affirmations daily. It helps rewire your thought pattern. So when something that is not in alignment with your positive thought pattern arises, you flag it, catch it and correct it. The more you do it, the more self-aware you become and the easier it becomes to do.

So, what is self-doubt exactly?

Self-doubt is feelings of uncertainty or lack of confidence in your ability to do a specific thing.

If you can identify with any of the signs listed above, you may find this helpful!

Here is a List of Things That Can Help You to Manage and Overcome Self-Doubt

▪︎ Look into discovering the root reason of why


▪︎ Social Media Detox


▪︎ Therapy


▪︎ Journaling

▪︎ Practice positive self-talk


▪︎ Remind yourself of past achievements


▪︎ Avoid comparing yourself to others


▪︎ Challenge yourself routinely to step outside of your comfort zone


▪︎ Focus MORE on WHY you want to pursue a goal and LESS on why you’re not ready, qualified, worthy, good enough etc.


▪︎ Put some R.E.S.P.E.C.T. on your WORTH. Validate yourself and hold that to heart. Work on not allowing your confidence to rise and fall based on the opinions other people have about you! How YOU see yourself is what matters most! If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t speak life over your hopes and dreams, if you don’t practice positive self-talk, you’re less likely to even accept validation or compliments from other people anyway.

A good way to gage where you’re at and how you’re doing is by becoming self-aware of how you react when people compliment you. If you have a tendency of denying or brushing off compliments, all the time, this could be a sign that you struggle with self-doubt.

What I would recommend next is to spend some time looking into the root cause of the self-doubt you feel.

If you’re not sure where to start, I encourage answering the following questions as journal entries:

▪︎ How do you feel about yourself, specifically, your ability to puruse and achieve your goals?

▪︎ How long have you felt this way?

▪︎ Is there anyone who has contributed to your beliefs about yourself?

▪︎ Did you experience something in your past that caused you to feel these same feelings of self-doubt?

▪︎ What do you do when you feel self-doubt? (Procrastinate, Avoidance, Anxious, etc.)

▪︎ How would you like to see your negative thoughts about yourself/your abilities change?

▪︎ What do you want to believe about yourself?

▪︎ What do you do/say when people compliment you?

▪︎ How would you like to feel when people compliment you?

▪︎ What can you do to transform your thoughts? (Practice positve self-talk, etc.)

▪︎ What will happen if you don’t change your thought patterns and beliefs about yourself? What will happen if you do change your thought pattern and beliefs about yourself?

Answering these questions should help you get to the root of your self-doubt and to also begin strategizing how you can manage and overcome it. It’s important to get to the root of why you are doubting yourself and where it stems from so that when you do any of the things suggested on the list above, it can be effective.

Also note that if you feel like you’d do better with additional support in working through these questions, therapy or life coaching are great alternatives to just solely going the self-help route.

I hope that this information has been helpful. Thank you for reading!

As 2022 comes to an end, many of us have begun reflecting on the year. If you feel like you have been procrastinating or struggling to take the next steps towards pursuing and achieving your goals, I invite you to learn more about the Set Goals & Slay E:Course designed to help you to align your goals & dreams with the ✅️ mindset and ✅️ game-plan to execute! If you want 2023 to be the year where you finally step outside of your comfort zone and pursue your goals & dreams, this is a great way to start!

The Power of Negative Self-Talk and How to Deal With It, So You Can Stop Procrastinating & Pursue Your Goals

On the blog, lately, we have been diving into the most common things holding may people back from pursuing their goals and dreams. We’re about to dive into another great topic and this one happens to hit home for me. It’s time to talk about negative self-talk!

Negative self-talk is talking negatively to yourself and about yourself.

Negative self-talk is only a symptom of the root cause which is one’s mindset.

Your mindset is influenced by your experiences, which shape your core beliefs and view of yourself, the world and your ability to achieve your goals in this world. If you struggle to speak life over yourself, your goals and dreams, and if you struggle to believe the best about your abilities, gifts and talents, I encourage you to take a look into WHY.

Get in a quiet place, pull out a journal, ask yourself and answer these questions. Be honest with yourself.

📌What do you believe about yourself?

📌How do you see you yourself?

📌How do you think other people see you?

📌What events from your past have shaped your beliefs about yourself today?

Once you have answered these questions, you have a good foundation to build upon.

The next building block is to take strategic action to begin shifting and reshaping your mindset; your thoughts and beliefs about yourself. Because, how you perceive yourself has a lot to do with your self-talk.

Writing and speaking positive affirmations is helpful to reshaping your thought patterns. But, it’s like trying to treat the symptoms of an illness without dealing with the route issue IF you don’t actually identify and deal with the root issue.

It may take therapy, prayer and time. But, I encourage you to be intentional about practicing positive self-talk consistently. Because, what you speak is powerful and it matters, if you want to set goals and slay them. How you talk about yourself, and what you speak to yourself, that no one else can hear, is a reflection of what you believe about yourself. Your actions typically reflect your beliefs. When you get your mindset (belief/perspective of yourself) right, your self-talk will align and so will your actions!

When you believe that you are more than a conqueror, when you believe that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, your self-talk and your actions should reflect that.

I am preparing to launch my self-care candle line called Align Allure Luxury Candle Bar. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years, but it was always just a wish or dream. I never seriously considered actually doing it until one day, I got thought of an idea for concept and then it was like… Why not me? And, that was followed by thoughts like, why not now? And, let me tell you, I was able to come up with multiple, valid reason why I should wait or just not ever do it at all. I battled a lot of negative thoughts… About what other people might say, what other people might think, how I don’t have enough time, money or space to pull it off. ALL the things man, all the things, I thought of. And yet, I still did it. After all of that, I went for it anyway.

Even as I began to take action, to bring my dream to life, I kept quiet about it, because I was ashamed. I was ashamed of the fact that I’m using a vendor to hand-pour my candles, even though it was a SOLUTION to my temporary problem of lack of space and time to be hands on in some aspects of my candle business. Even as I type this, I feel the urge to backspace this entire paragraph. But, I’m willing to expose my feelings of shame, because it has led to negative self-talk, which is what we don’t want. As I mentioned, it is important to deal with the root cause.

What is my root cause here? My fear of rejection. There are people, events, things that happened in my past that caused me to develop a fear of rejection. One of the ways I deal with this root cause is by consistently challenging myself to do things that I would otherwise procrastinate on or just not ever do, due to fear of what someone might say or think. The negative thoughts will come, I acknowledge and process them, I speak positive affirmation (I write and speak my affirmations to myself daily) and then I move forward with ACTION. Repeat. That’s the strategy, that’s the formula. Do it over and over and over again.

It’s not a once a day, one a month or one a year ritual. It’s simply a tool to help you WIN that particular battle in your mind and you can do it anytime a negative thought bombards your mind. I’m especially talking about those negative thoughts that pop up daily or every time you think about pursuing your goal.

After you have answered the questions listed above. Think about how you can effectively DEAL with your root issue(s) and HEAL.

Again, it may tike time, prayer AND therapy. Some things, like negative thoughts, will always be around. You just have to learn how to COPE. I hope what I have shared here is helpful for you. Get what you need, do what you need to do, so that you can pursue your goals and dreams and live your life walking in your God given purpose with boldness!

I wish you a blessed week ahead Set Goals & Slay family, thank you for reading!

CLICK HERE

How to Minimize Distractions So You Can Pursue & Slay Your Goals

Have you been struggling to follow through with your goals because of distractions? If your answer is yes, you’re in the right place. I have some tips to share with you, that I believe will help you to minimize and even eliminate many of the distractions that may be holding you back from pursuing and slaying your goals!

Before we jump into the information, I want you to know that I understand what it is like to have many things to do and not enough time to do it in. I’ve experienced that during my days as a busy college kid, juggling classes, study-time, extracurricular activities (band practice, games, etc.), free-time with family and friends, church and work!

Post-college, I’ve been on a personal mission to attain a healthy life-balance.. Having quality time for everything that matters most to me. It’s not easy, especially when things are constantly changing and evolving around us.. One minute you’re juggling your day to day life when life happens… Your car breaks down, you get sick or Covid-19 happens… Things happen, and it can be tough to manage everything. And, unfortunately as a result, sometimes our goals can get put on the back burner.

My mission is to empower you with tools and strategies to help your pursue and slay your goals!

Time is valuable. So with that in mind, let’s get straight to the info you came here for shall we?

Here are 3 Keys to Minimizing Distractions So You Can Pursue & Slay Your Goals

📌 Be Intentional with your time, energy, money, etc.

📌 Identify the distractions

📌 Identify what you can do to minimize, eliminate OR work with those distractions

To be intentional with your time you need to MANAGE your time.

Start Here: Identify what truly matters to you. Ask yourself, what are your goals, your priorities, the top things you want to focus and invest your time, money, energy into?

Now, I’m going to share with you some helpful tools to help you manage your time. I’ll warn you though, if you’re not a planner-junkie like me, these tips may seem.. unnecessary! However, if you struggle with time-management… These are a game-changer.

Note: You don’t need to use all of these. But, do consider utilizing the one’s that work best for you.

To-Do List A to-do list is a great way to organize and keep track of your top priorities. If you decide to use to-do lists, I encourage using multiple to-do lists. For example: one for business, personal/home-life, shopping list, etc. Now, you don’t need a to-do list for every area of your life. But, I find it helpful to have a to-do list for any areas of your life where you feel you struggle most to keep up important tasks.

Using a pen and paper to keep a to-do list a great but if you’re anything like me, you may have a lot to keep up with and the one thing you rarely lose track of is your cell-phone. So, if you’ve got a smart phone, flirt with a few different apps until you find the digital to-do list that is the best suitor for you!

Here are my top recommendations:

  • Kanban Notion
  • Todoist
  • Google Keep
  • Any.do
  • Evernote

Calendar/Planner – Use a calendar/planner that allows you to plan your day, week, month throughout the year. There are different kinds of planners you can use. We will break those down at a different time, but what I recommend is to research the different types of journals (i.e. bullet journal, etc.) and decide which one is the best fit for you. Also, remember that you can decide between having a physical/paper planner, digital or both.


Time-blocking – Use an hourly planner and divide your days into chunks aka time-blocks. Each block of time is dedicated to a specific task(s).

Bonus Tip: Schedule tasks that you are most, not looking forward to tackling at the start of your day rather than the end of your day. Get it done and out of the way and leave the tasks that you most look forward to completing towards the end part of your day so that you have something to look forward too. Just an extra way to motivate yourself throughout your day.

P.S. Don’t forget to schedule time DAILY for R&R. If you can schedule 5 – 15 minute breaks after each time-block, this can help reduce or eliminate stress, overwhelm and burn-out.


Pomodoro Method – This method is great if you are an over-thinker, perfectionist or just struggle with managing your time. It is also really helpful if you work so hard or get caught up with your workflow that you don’t consistently take your breaks. Use this method to help manage your time, focus on quality over quantity and reduce overwhelm.

Here is the breakdown for the Pomodoro Method:

Identify Task

Set a Timer.

Work on the task.

When the timer goes off, take a break (short).

Reset timer, and resume task or move on to the next task.

When timer goes off, take a longer break.

Set the timer to fit your daily schedule as needed. I highly recommend using this method alongside the time-blocking method.

My Top Pomodoro App Recommendations:

  • Focus To-Do
  • Pomo Focus
  • Pomotodo

These apps allows you to set the allotted time you want to work on a task and when the timer goes off… you take a break and then either continue or move on to the next scheduled task.

After that time-block is complete, that’s it for that task. Being intentional goes hand in hand with self-discipline. You’ve got to be disciplined to work during the allotted time, take your breaks and then move on to the next task of the day.

Kanban Boards – I fell in love with Kanban boards this year! I haven’t been using them for long, but it has really been a gamechanger for me. I’m gonna tell you why I use this method. And, if this resonates with you, then download the app quick!

Kanban boards allow you to see your to-do list in a visual form. The boards is made up of 3 sections: Do (To-Do), Doing and Done. If you search Kanban on YouTube, you’ll see examples of how you can create a Kanban board using just your blank wall and sticky notes, you can use a whiteboard or a corkboard. If you enjoy visual interaction, being hands on and creative you may enjoy creating a physical Kanban display board. Or, you may prefer to go the digital route (if not both).

Here are my favorite digital Kanban board Apps:

  • Trello
  • Notion
  • ClickUp
  • Monday.com
  • My Kanban

Bonus Tip:

When you set goals, you should identify specific action steps that you can take daily, weekly and monthly. As you take action, remember to approach it with a quality over quantity mentality.

If you use time-blocking in your scheduling, the time that you have blocked out for a certain activity – focus on being effective during that time with the tasks at hand RATHER THAN focusing on how much you can get done during that period of time.

This helps with managing your time, because it decreases the chances of you having to go back and correct or re-do that task because you were rushing during that time-block.

Stress, overwhelm, anxiety and burn-out… These can be distractions as well, because they can cause you to not be able to to work on a task or to be effective while working on a task.

That is why it is essential to manage your time well, because it helps decrease stress, overwhelm, anxiety and decrease risk of burn-out. It is one form of stress management etc.

Bonus Tip #2

Schedule time to meditate, practice mindfulness, to exercise, to sit down and eat your meals, to spend time with loved ones (including your pets) etc.

Balance is key and if you can manage your time well, then you can find balance ⚖️

The solution to minimize or eliminate distractions is to be intentional with managing your time.

To do that, you must identify what you want to focus on and then you may find it helpful to use planners, to-do lists, time-blocking and timers etc to help you zero in on your focus points and execute.


It’s up to you to schedule time for what matters most at times when external distractions (i.e. phones, social media, noisy neighbors etc.) are low or non-existent.

Now, I use each of the recommendations that I have shared with you today and have spent time researching the benefits of them as well. So, I do believe that these can be game-changing for you as you work to creating a healthy life-balance, where you are managing your time and taking strategic action to achieve your goals. The key is to find what works best for you and then to do it consistently.

If you have found this information helpful, please like, share and subscribe.

I also invite you to check out the Set Goals & Slay E-Course: The Strategy You Need to Set Goals & Slay. This E-course comes with an abundance of worksheets and an E-book to help you create a winning strategy to slay your personal goals. CLICK HERE for more information.

Have an amazing and blessed week Set Goals & Slay Family!



Get Out of Your Way: 7 Steps to Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

One of the greatest things that brings me joy is seeing people live their best lives. I love to see people happy, successful and thriving in every area of their lives. That is one of the factors that drives my passion for helping ambitious women break through limitations and limiting beliefs that can often hold us back from leveling up in our life. Especially, when it comes to pursuing our life purpose!

That is why I am so passionate about today topic. Not only that, but it is something that I struggle with from time to time. But, what I’d like to do here is share with you what I have learned, so that we can finally stop sleeping on ourselves and go after our goals and dreams with boldness!

Today, we’re going to zero in on Imposter Syndrome because when you break down what imposter syndrome looks like, you’ll find that it covers many many things that are common reasons for either giving up on a goal or simply not starting. So, let’s jump in.

If you have a goal that you have been wanting to pursue but you’ve been putting it off, I encourage you to take this moment to think about why. Ask yourself, what has been holding you back?

When we procrastinate on pursuing our goals, it is usually because there is a limitation or limiting belief holding us back.

A limitation is any THING that holds us back from taking action. Example: Lack of resources, lack of money, lack of time, not knowing how or where to start, lack of support, lack of motivation etc.

A limiting belief is a negative or false BELIEF that holds us back from taking action. Example: I’m not good enough, I’m not ready yet, I don’t have enough experience, Nobody will take me seriously, etc.

Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.

Signs of Imposter Syndrome:

  • Self-sabotage
  • Self doubt
  • Fear
  • Perfectionism
  • Self criticism
  • Down playing your skills and abilities
  • Not feeling qualified or worthy

Are you a perfectionist? Do you procrastinate when it comes to launching a new product or service, are you waiting for the right time or until you feel more ready, qualified or worthy to publish your book, apply for your dream job or start your business?

Do you feel guilty when you promote your product or service? Do you hesitate or hold back when sharing your qualifications and experience during an interview? Do you downplay what you really bring to the table?

There are different ways that imposter syndrome can show up. And, when we recognize one of these symptoms are at play, it’s essential that we take time to get to the core of that symptom. Get intentional about discovering WHY that fear, self-doubt, self-sabotage, etcetera exists for you. Because once you understand why, then you can effectively begin to manage it.

For example: If your struggle is with fear, once you understand the route of why you are fearful and what triggers it, then you can move forward in feeling the fear and doing what you gotta do anyway.

I’ll use myself as an example.

The 2 symptoms that I struggle the most with is Fear and Down-playing my skills and abilities.

Now, I have my BA is Psychology, I have 5+ years of experience in the Behavior and Mental Health field. I have experience working with adults and children. I also have had my own mental health challenges. And, apart from a college degree and vocational experience, I have studied a attained 3 certifications for life coaching: Life, Solution-focused and goal success. I have spent hours upon hours reading, learning and applying the knowledge I’ve learned.. I don’t know everything. I’m not the best at everything. HOWEVER, I do have quality to bring to the table.

Even with that.. I’ve still doubted and down-played myself soo many times. I’ve spent a lot time procrastinating and being afraid to create and promote my books, products and services, because I have feared being rejected because someone might think I’m too young and not qualified. I have feared not being taken seriously.

This is an example of imposter syndrome. It may look different for you, but what I want you to know, is that it is possible to overcome.

So, with all that being said, here are a few tips to help you overcome and conquer the imposter syndrome:

Please note: This is not a quick fix. These are things that you may have to do each and every time a symptom of imposter syndrome pops up.

Also, keep in mind that these tips are meant to help transform your mindset over time. Your thought processes, your core beliefs.. that is where the shift must occur, so that you can consistently walk in boldness and perform with confidence – in whatever you set out to do, whatever goals you pursue.

1) Remind yourself of who you are and who God has created you to be.

2) Remind yourself of what you bring to the table.

  • Get a notepad and pen and make a list of all of your skills, abilities, talents, gifts and experience
  • Make a list of all the reasons WHY you should pursue your goal despite how you feel

3) Detox your circle.

  • Who are you following on social media? If they do not motivate, encourage, inspire, teach or challenge you in a positive way – then consider unfollowing them
  • Who do you share you goals and dreams with? If they are not a healthy support system, then consider keeping your goals and dreams to yourself. Work in silence – let the results speak for you
  • Evaluate the company you keep. If you are the smartest person in the room… change that. If your circle is not like-minded, consider socially distancing
  • Get intentional about surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who will be an positive light on your journey

4) Practice positive self-talk everyday. Not just when your mind is bombarded with negative thoughts.

5) Make a habit of celebrating the small wins. Acknowledge your accomplishments. If you feel like you’d be bragging – angle to share your accomplishment in a way that teaches or inspires someone else on their own journey.

6) Be honest with your self and others about your strengths and weaknesses. BALANCE is key. When you are honest with yourself and others about your strengths AND weaknesses, you won’t feel like a fraud. AUTHENTICITY is the best approach. If you are hesitant to share your weaknesses because you don’t want to look more like your not ready or qualified, this is where you’ll need to focus more on shifting your mindset.

Shifting your mindset requires you to repeatedly shift your focus onto something else.. In this case, that something would be HOW you perceive your weaknesses. It’s beneficial here to perceive your weaknesses ALSO as strengths. So, try thinking of your weaknesses as something that is also as asset to you because it makes you

  • human
  • relatable
  • authentic

7) My last tip for you is to simply to Challenge Yourself. One thing I am absolutely ashamed of is that fact that I can’t dance. At all. So, I’ve been pushing myself to get moving a bit here and there on some of the videos I post on Instagram and TikTok. I’ve challenged myself to embrace something that I am insecure about, not to make fun of myself, but because I know it’s pushing me outside of my comfort zone. And when I hit post, I feel soo proud of myself for putting myself out there. That is a small win for me that I celebrate each time. And, I feel more confident in spite of, each time I do it.

Taking small steps – challenging yourself is a great way to enhance your confidence in your ability to do certain things.

By implementing these tips into your daily routine or weekly routine, you can really get the upper hand on imposter syndrome. It takes time, it won’t happen over night, but you can get there.

Be encouraged and know that you are not alone on this journey.

If you’re ready to pursue your goals with confidence, I invite you to check out The Set Goals & Slay e-course. Click HERE for more info.

Hidden Lessons: How to Find Opportunities and Blessings Hiding in Plain Sight!

Last weekend my husband and I drove up north to Prescott, Arizona for an impromptu getaway!

As I sit in my hotel room reflecting on my weekend getaway, I learned a lesson I believe is worthy of sharing.

To start, I’ll give you a little insight on my past as it relates to todays blog.

I was born and raised in the valley of the sun #Aznative.

I started driving when I was 15 and had only driven the freeway 2 or 3 times prior to turning 28 🤦🏾‍♀️ Once I moved from Phoenix and I found myself having to travel back and forth frequently and quickly grew tired of driving the streets. Once I conquered my fear of merging on and off of the freeway, I began to venture out further and further, exploring my home state.

For years..  I mean, ever since I was in middle school, whenever the topic arose, I was quick to tell people that I couldn’t see myself living in AZ long term. I’d dreamt of going to college out of state, to an HBCU and joining a sorority. Also, I’ve always loved beaches and saw myself eventually moving to California or Georgia. As a kid, my family and I took many road trips to California. And, my family on my mom and dad’s side are from California, Texas, Florida, North Carolina and other Eastern and Southern states.

Here I am, now 29 years old… Having ventured here and there around Arizona from 2021 till now, just exploring more cities on my own, I can honestly say that my overall perspective of my home state has shifted. Nobody would be more surprised by this than me, but I would honestly be heart broken if the day comes and I have to move away for one reason or another.

One thing I can say, is that I’m grateful that I have had the chance to discover the diversity that’s been right under my nose the entire time.

Now, you may be wondering how this inspired a blog post. There’s 2 parts to this. Let’s dive in!

Part 1:

Sometimes, we can miss a good thing that’s been right in front of us the whole time because of our perspective. And, sometimes, without realizing it, our perspective of a person, place or thing can be formed and shaped by the influence of other’s perspectives.

Our perspectives are typically shaped by our life experiences.

Now, you can apply this, to relationships, business opportunities, etc.

This is a reminder to myself and for anyone who needs it.

Could you be overlooking something that is quite amazing because you’ve been too busy looking in the opposite direction?

For years, I listened to people saying how boring Arizona is and how awesome our next door neighbor California is in comparison. The irony of that is that now as an adult, I actually hear the exact opposite. I hear complaints about how expensive California is and other complaints beyond that, that took me by surprise.

But that reminded me of this…

How many times do we develop ideas and opinions about things because we’ve been hanging on to the ideas and opinions of other people?

Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But, sometimes we count ourselves out, we skip over opportunities, we disqualify ourselves from things that could actually be the best thing for us or the gateway to.

Now, I’m not staying I’m destined to reside in AZ for life. But, just within the past  year and a half my perspective of my home state has completed shifted. But, this post isn’t about how awesome I think Arizona is now, it’s really about this…

That shift only occurred after I did 2 things:

1) I stopped listening to the negative opinions of other people.

2) I got bored and started to explore things for myself.

By doing this, I put myself in position to experience and develop my own opinion, free from the perceptions and opinions of other people. I’ve visited areas and places in AZ that many AZ residents have yet to explore.

So, I encourage you to look your goals and dreams. What have you given up on or lost hope in and why? If you find that it’s because of lack of support of people, negative opinions, haters, doubters, etc…  You know, it’s easy for us to discourage someone from pursuing a goal or dream because it didn’t work out for us. Sometime, we can innocently just share our story and can unintentionally sow a seed of doubt.. now, I’m not saying don’t share your story – Including our mistakes. But, what I am saying is – remember to share the lesson learned as well. Because, that could be the gamechanger for someone else.

I thought this blog would end here. But, there is a..

Part 2:

As I sat in my hotel room, moments before checkout, I reflected on the lesson learned and I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more God wanted me to understand. Today I discovered the connecting piece. This right here really stirred me up today!

While, what I’ve shared with you regarding my new found perspective of my home-state is true, this blog post is far more significant than that. As soon as I saw this post today on social media, something clicked!
This was it. This was the missing piece to the lesson I’d learned from my weekend getaway.

In part one, I share HOW my perspective shifted. Part 2 is all about WHY we should allow ourselves to embrace our journey, embrace the process and allows God to shift our perspective as we pursue or goals and life purpose.

Let’s connect the dots.

When we are in our comfort zones, we are are comfortable because we are familiar with our environment. Our environment does not have to be physical, it could represent a state of mind or a perspective of a person, place, thing or an idea.

Here’s an example. Growing up, if you asked me what my favorite color(s) were, my answer was red and black. Once I began college at Grand Canyon University, where the school colors are white, purple and black, there was a shift. When asked, I’d tell you my favorite color was purple. My dorm room was decorated in purple and I enjoyed wearing my purple gear.

See, even when my favorite color was red and black, there was STILL potential – possibility – opportunity for me to SHIFT – change and favor the color purple. No pun intended. When I declared red and black as my favorite colors, I wanted everything to be in those colors. My bedroom colors were red and black, my wardrobe consisted heavily of black and when given the opportunity to choose something with color options, my go-to was always, red or black.

Things change. People change. Opinions and beliefs change. When it comes to people and our beliefs, change usually occurs when there is a shift in ones focus which then creates a DOORWAY for their perception to change.

The DOOR can be an opportunity that you have been waiting to find or waiting to open. And, that DOOR, very well could have been in front of you this entire time! Your breakthrough, your million dollar idea, whatever it may be… Could it be that it’s already open, ready for you to walk through, but because you’ve been looking in the opposite direction, because you’ve been waiting on God’s blessing to show up in a particular kind of way… You could be missing it even though it has your name on it?!

Don’t miss what God has for you! Remember that, God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts (Reference: Isaiah 55:8-9). That means, we have to have faith and trust in His timing. Understanding, that even when it doesn’t make sense, things are still working together for our good. He has a purpose and plan for each of our lives. We need to trust Him with the purpose He attached to our lives and the gifts and talents that He has given us to bless the lives of others.

I believe that God wants to reveal to us what has only been hidden, because we were not looking in the right direction. The wrong direction can be hinged upon relying on the experiences and opinions of other people. Maybe, someone else’s business failed, maybe someone wrote a book and it didn’t become a bestseller, maybe someone pursued their goal and made a mistake.. But, that is THEIR story. And, your perspective of it should be through the lens of a LESSON.

So, I encourage you to look for and learn the lessons and move forward. Don’t give up on yourself, don’t give up on your dreams and most importantly, don’t give up on God – just because you may be facing the wrong door. It is possible to view one thing, one way for your entire life and to have it turned upside down in a much shorter period of time. You can have your whole life or certain aspects of your life planned out and God can come and turn it upside down just because He wants you to see something differently. His plan for our lives is better the our plans. So, lets allow Him to connect the dots.

15 Steps to Achieving Your Goals and Manifesting Your Dreams in 2022

Have you set the same goals for the past couple of years because you want to achieve it but things just keep getting in the way?

Do you set goal and new year resolutions but struggle to be consistent and follow through?

Are you feeling alone or discouraged on your journey to pursuing your goals?

Then, you’re in the right place!

There are many reasons why we give up on our goals and dreams…

But today, I’m here for those of you who know what you want, have tried to manifest it but it just hasn’t worked out.. yet!

What I am about to share is for those of you who are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

You are ready to achieve your goals and bring your dreams to life!

The Secret to Achieving Your Goals and Other Game-changing Hacks

1. Get clear about what you want, why you want it and write it down.

2. Set a long-term goal.

3. Break your long-term goal into short term-goals.

4. Identify specific action steps you can take quarterly, monthly, weekly and daily.

5. The secret to slaying your goals is to identify potential obstacles. Identify what has gone wrong or what could go wrong. Identify your fears, limiting beliefs, anything that is or could potentially discourage you or hinder you physically, mentally or emotionally from continuing your pursuit. In other words, ask yourself, what has or could possibly stop you from pursuing your goal and what can you do about it. The next step is to brainstorm possible solutions or alternatives. What is another route of getting to your destination? What is another way of accomplishing your goal? If one way didn’t work, if one resource fell through, what else can you do? If you run into something you don’t know, how can you enhance your knowledge instead of giving up altogether?

If you identify these things from the very beginning, you automatically become LESS likely to give up on your goals than the individual who does not.

If you are tired of setting goals, starting and then giving up on them then it’s time to do something about it.

6. Detox your circle. Surround yourself with people who hold you accountable, encourage you and build you up! Hire and fire accordingly.

7. Use planners, journals, to-do lists to help you stay organized.

8. Listen to podcasts, YouTube videos and read books on your nich.. Things that will build you up and expand your knowledge.

9. Take courses, talk to people who already are where you desire to be and if you have questions, ask.

10. Test drive your dream! For example: If it’s a car, dream home, dream job.. Go to a dealership and test drive that car or rent that car for a week, tour your dream home, shadow a business owner, volunteer or intern.

11. Set up motivating factors in your home, office and phone. Motivating factors are things that motivate you. motivating factors can also be a “small” reward that you receive after reaching a milestone or accomplishing a short-term goal.

Motivating factors are also thing that remind you of your goals and help you stay focused. Examples of motivating factors can be: vision boards or books, vision board as the screensaver or wallpaper on a cellphone or computer, sticky notes w/positive affirmations on your bathroom mirror – each time you look in the mirror, recite those affirmations aloud with authority and conviction – speak life over yourself and over your dreams!

12. Habits to help you manifest and stay motivated – journaling, listening to positive affirmations while asleep, meditation in morning and before sleeping, Meta groups for people also in your niche, networking events, etc.

13. Accountability is essential. You must yourself accountable and have at least 1 other person who you trust and will hold you accountable also. This person should not only be your motivator and encourager, but should also be able to give you constructive feedback – not criticism. A few ways that you can find an accountability partner is via Meta groups, in-person events, conferences/seminars in your niche. Ways that you can hold yourself accountable are: setting dates for your short-term and long-term goals,

Photo by RF._.studio on Pexels.com

14. Take the pressure off! Define what success looks like for you. For some people, success is becoming a millionaire. I’d love to be a millionaire, but for me, success is me operating in my God given purpose.

Focus more on the journey and less on the destination. Enjoy the journey because success is a process. It does not happen overnight.

15. Do your best not to compare yourself or your journey to anyone else’s. This is your life, your journey, your vision, your goals! Though it may be similar, nobody’s journey is the same. Remember to define what success look

And, most importantly, Proverbs 3:5 – 7 says: Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

No one else is supposed to understand your calling. It wasn’t a conference call.

If you found this information valuable, I challenge you to sign up for the new Set Goals & Slay E-course: The Strategy You Need to Set Goals and Slay.

This post was just an overview. In the E-course I give you a detailed breakdown of my goal success strategy. What you learned here today is a part of it, but there’s more!

The E-course will take no more than 45mins to 1 hour of your time.

Invest in yourself and in your goals and start manifesting your dream. Click the link HERE for more info and to sign up. It’s $0 for a limited time only.

Happy Manifesting!

Do This to Boost Your Confidence!

As a teenager and into my early twenties, I struggled with low self-esteem. I was very insecure. When I looked in the mirror, I could hardly make eye contact with myself. I hated what I saw.

I struggled to love myself because I was too busy comparing myself to other young women around me.

It wasn’t until I began to shift the focus on myself and began my self-love journey that things improved. Some days I still struggle to believe the best about myself. Sometimes, I compare myself to others. Sometimes, I wish that I was further along in my entrepreneurial endeavors than I am. I dream big, I’m goal oriented and sometimes I’m just too hard on myself.

These steps that I am about to share with you have really helped me to boost my self-esteem EACH time I have felt really low about myself, my goals and ability to succeed. If you are struggling with your confidence, in any area of your life, you may find these helpful ❤️

4 Steps to Boost Your Confidence!

Step 1 Remind yourself of how your creator sees you. He created you on purpose for a purpose. He knows and understands you better than you do yourself. Study the scriptures to see how He sees you. Because He loves you – flaws and all. He looks beyond our imperfection and mistakes.

Step 2 Write out a list of all your accomplishments and positive qualities. Everything you’ve overcome, everything you bring to the table, every table you’ve built. Take a moment to brag about it. Remind yourself of how far you’ve already come!!

Step 3 Every time you are in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eye and begin to speak life over yourself and over your goals/dreams. Practice positive self talk.

The more your quote the positive affirmations and scriptures about who God says you are and what He says you can do through Him – the more self-aware you will become when the negative thoughts hit. And, you’ll automatically start combating those negative thoughts with affirmations and scripture.

Even if you don’t believe what you’re saying initially, if you are consistent, your perspective of yourself will begin to shift over time!

Talk to yourself!! Hype yourself up!! Remind yourself that you are a Queen. You are a King. You were created in the image of the one true God and you were born with purpose. People can’t give you that.

People can’t assign purpose to your life. So, remind yourself that you are called and you are worthy. The world is ready and waiting to hear your voice and your story. Someone’s breakthrough depends on it.

You are deserving of the happiness you enjoy in your life. You have sown in tears, you have labored and you have waited. When what you’ve worked so hard for manifests, don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.

Be careful not to look down on and talk down to yourself. The conversations you have with yourself are thee most important conversations you will ever partake in. Adjust your crown. Walk humbly, but confidently knowing that it is a privilege for people to be in your presence!

Step 4 Be patient with yourself. Go on a self-love journey and learn to love yourself again. Fall in love with the new you! We are always changing, growing and evolving as individuals. We are not the exact same person we were years ago. So, sometimes we have to learn to love who we’ve become and make peace with where we are in life, now.

If you haven’t heard it in awhile, know that YOU are such an amazing person. I’m glad you’re here. And, the world would not be the same without you!!

Thank you for taking time to read this blog! Please share this post. You never know who may need to hear a word of encouragement today.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. If you or someone you know is in need, remember that help is available. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Hours – Available 24 hours Phone#: (800) 273 – 8255

Oh, and before you go…

New Book – Order your signed copy HERE: Let’s Be Real: The Secrets of My Soul Exposed

5 Keys to Managing Stress and Letting Go of What We Can’t Control

Let’s continue our chat about stress management while pursuing our goals.

I got married 3 weeks ago…

The wedding was absolutely amazing and the honeymoon was wonderful! Since returning home, I’ve had to jump back into the swing of things while making adjustments along the way. My To-Do List has definitely gotten longer. Things like getting my name changed everywhere, 9 to 5 life with OT, prepping for taxes, meetings, events and just adjusting to sharing my space with my significant other… There’s a lot going on.

But today, I’m not here to talk about my wedding and how I’m adjusting to married life.. Actually, I’d like to talk to you about success and managing stress and anxiety.

What does success look like to you?

Right now, for me, success looks like: Not procrastinating, making progress everyday and just getting things done.

For those of us who are goal oriented, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and crushed under the pressure of having many things to do and time. We usually feel most accomplished when we are making progress and getting things done.

5 Keys to Reducing Overwhelm and Stress:

When it comes to reducing stress and overwhelm, it’s helpful that you are intentional about setting the tone for your day and moving at a pace throughout the day that works best for you.

I enjoy have a to-do list, but what causes me stress is having a time-frame to get that to-do list done. Everything about my 9 to 5 is timed. When we are doing something outside of the scheduled time allotted, we are held accountable for it. So, when I clock out for the day, I look forward to being able to set the pace for the rest of my day.

A great way to set the tone for your day is by waking up early. Now, I do not consider myself a morning person. But, what I tend to focus on are the benefits of waking up earlier than usual and that motivates me to kick off the covers and get my day started!

1) Waking up early enough to have time for things like praying, meditating, setting goals/priorities for the day, relax in silence – no TV, no phone, no stressors.

2) Anti-Stress Supplements.

The one I am currently using is the Fast-Acting Stress Relief Gummies by Nature Made. Within 30 minutes, I begin to feel more relaxed. When I am experiencing soreness, aches and tightness in my neck and back, the supplement does not give me relief from that, but my mind (racing thoughts) do relax a bit.

Okay, now let’s chat about the art of letting go!

3) Allow yourself to feel the anxiety and stress IN the moment. THEN release it.

Release your need to control the situation or the stressor. Let go of the need to rapidly feel better. Accept that “it is what it is.” Trust yourself to be patient and get through it. Trust God, to work it altogether for your good.

I can’t be the only one who has struggled with the concept of “letting go.” I’ve always heard people say that we should forgive and let go and my question has always been, how? I want to let go, but how do I do that? I have asked that question so many times and I feel like I am still learning what letting go really means, to this day. But, one thing I have learned about letting go is that it is a process. It doesn’t come immediate for every person, in every situation. However, what has helped me let go of some things or at least begin the process of doing so is by allowing myself to FEEL the negative emotions. That brings me to my next point.

4) Observing – Notice how you feel in those moments of frustration. Maybe you feel tense, back or neck pain, maybe you feel like crying. Notice your thoughts. Notice what thoughts would be better. Healthier.

Observation creates awareness. I was aware of how I felt in those moments and was then able to SHIFT.

Now, the shift does not mean that I immediately felt free of the frustration. And, it does not mean that I found a resolution to the problem. It just means that I was able to not let it affect my ability to progress through my day like it would have in the past.

Before, if something would frustrate me, that was it. My mood would change for the rest of the day. And, in all honesty.. That still happens. A lot. But personal growth and development is a process. Other people may not be patient with you. So, it’s essential that you are patient with yourself!

Observing, having that awareness and mentally walking myself through the process of accepting and releasing my ATTEMPT to control what I can’t control enabled me to feel the frustration and stress for a matter of minutes.

Now, I’m a moody person. Triggers alter my mood fairly easily and quickly. If I’m feeling frustrated, anxious, stressed or hurt.. I get really quiet. No smiles, no laughter, just silence and brewing. That is why letting go is a skill I’m working on.

I share that to say this: I myself am very much a work in progress. However, I love to share what has been working for me because I know I’m not the only one. These are practical, realistic tips that can help you IN those firey moments when you feel like you might crash and burn. Figuratively speaking of course.

Setting the tone for your day, utilizing supplements, allowing yourself to feel the emotions, training yourself to observe and release are keys to managing stress and anxiety when you’ve got a lot going on in your life.

Story-time..

Friday evening my mom told me depressing news. My grandfather passed away Friday evening. That same day, my husband was in pain and I probably got 2 hours of sleep throughout the night and morning at most. My emotions were all over the place. I was trying my best to be there for my husband – it’s hard seeing someone that you love in so much pain and not being able to do much about it. Everything we were trying to relieve the pain wasn’t working and it seemed like our prayers were just hitting brick walls before dissolving into thin air. On top of that, my heart was breaking. I’d just seen my grandfather at my wedding 2 weeks prior. And suddenly, he is gone. I was thinking about my dad, my grandma, my aunts, uncles, cousins and all those affected by this loss and heart was just crumbling. I just kept crying and praying. I felt like I was pouring form an empty cup.

I felt really overwhelmed. I’d been looking forward to having a productive and relaxing weekend and it turned out to be opposite of that. I was grieving and adding other things on top just made me feel so weak. Leading up to Friday, I’d already been feeling like I could use some time to recharge but I just wasn’t able to get that time. And, that is how life is. Life happens when we least expect it. Things won’t always go according to plan. That is why we must learn how to pivot and adjust.

5) Pivot and Adjust. That’s something I’ll have to continue to do in my marriage, on my job, in my business.. in every area of my life! Due to the stress and pain in my arms and back, I haven’t been able to work out like I used to. But, this month I decided to get back in the gym and do what I can. I can’t use weights just yet, but I can work on my lower body and do cardio. I’m doing what I CAN do. And, that is what leads to progress and success.

One of the best abilities to have, to be successful in any area of your life, is the ability to PIVOT. If you can’t pivot and adjust when things don’t go according to Plan A, then you’re likely to give up.

One of my top goals in life is to HELP someone else pursue and achieve their goals. One way of doing that is by not only being transparent about my personal growth and development journey, but by also sharing tips and strategies that will make it LESS likely that you will quit.

You matter. Your goals and dreams matter. Don’t let stress, anxiety and overwhelm hold you back. Utilize these tips to help you get a better handle on them. And, as always, if therapy and medication is needed, do it. All of this just goes to say.. Prioritize your mental health.

There’s a lot of topics to talk about when it comes to success and achieving our goals. Mental health is one of them. Let’s talk about it more.

Thank you for reading Set Goals & Slay Family! Please share this post. You never know who is struggling with stress and anxiety and can use a word of hope and encouragement.

How to Reset and Plan for Success in 2022

2022 is here y’all! How are you feeling?

You know, I’ve been trying to write this post for a few days and let me tell you, I just couldn’t get it done. Not because I didn’t have the time or didn’t know what to say, but because there just seemed to be something.. missing.

Thursday night I attended a virtual vision board party streaming live on YouTube impromptu. I’d heard about it and then eventually I forgot about it. Made no plans to be there. But listen, I love me a good Vision Board party. I just get excited when I imagine the possibilities of the future and what God has for me. I know it won’t all be sunshine and roses. But God has some good things for us among the challenges and thorns life throws at us. This wasn’t just any old vision board party though. This was a faith-based vision board party. And, that my friends is where I found the connecting pieces to finish this post.

As we launch into the New Year, Set Goals & Slay family, I encourage you to take your FAITH with you! Read that again.

Although we are stepping into a New Year, we can expect that we will experience our share of highs an lows. Much like 2021. 2021 was challenging for me. It started off great until.. I loss my aunt and then a month later I loss my grandmother who was a pillar in my life. Both were somewhat unexpected. Not only was she my grandmother, but she was also my pastor for over 20 years. I struggled for most of the year with accepting that she is gone. Not only that, but I had to separate from another individual who was a significant part of my childhood as well. There was much loss, but there was also great gain. On a happier note, God blessed me to get engaged to the love of my life and in less than a month, we’ll be married! The relationships with my siblings have also progressed even when oceans apart and I’ve begun to rebrand Set Goals & Slay and released my new book, Let’s Be Real!

So, even with all of the challenges in experiencing loss, Covid-19, and just navigating our rapidly changing world as it is.. it was still a blessing. There was still a reason to smile and rejoice – found in the midst of it all. And, for that I am grateful! That is exactly how I am entering the New Year. With a heart of gratitude. I encourage you to do the same.

Alright, so let’s get to part you came here for. Here are my Top 7 Tips to Reset for the year ahead:

1) Reflect + Review your 2021 goals and progress. Set aside time to a brain dump. You can do this on your phone or computer, but personally, I enjoy taking out a pen and paper. Jot down EVERYTHING that comes to your mind that you accomplished throughout the year and EVERYTHING you are thankful for. After that, take time to go through your journals and planners/calendars, whether they’re digital or paperback. As you review them, be honest with yourself about the effort you put in, the progress you made and the areas in which you may not have seen as much growth as you’d have liked. Lastly, for this step, enter into a prayer of gratitude. Thank God for what you were able to accomplish and for the areas and ways in which you grew/evolved as a person. Let’s enter the New Year with a heart of gratitude!

2) Brain Dump/Scripting. In step 1, your brain dump was regarding all things gratitude. This time, you’ll want to write freely, without limitation, about your goals and aspirations for 2022. Whatever is in your heart, whatever comes to mind, don’t be shy about it, just jot it down. This is between YOU and God.

3) Set SMART Goals. Okay, now here is one of my favorite parts, because this is where we take those wishes and dreams and begin to breath life into them! This is HOW they can become reality. Now, I encourage you, this year to put emphasis on the dreams that God has put down on the inside of you. You know, the one’s you keep to yourself? The one’s you don’t like to talk about, because a lot of people don’t understand or may be quick to talk you out of pursuing your dream? Friend, I’m talking about the dreams that you have been afraid to pursue. I’m talking about the dreams you’ve been sitting on, for years, waiting.. Waiting for a perfect time, waiting to feel ready, waiting for a table or opportunity to be set before you. Yeah.. that dream! You may just have to build the table yourself.. *read that again*

Take that dream and set a flexible SMART goal. A goal that is: Specific. Measurable. Achievable. Realistic and Trackable. Next, Identify your WHY. Answer this: WHY are you pursuing that goal? WHAT will happen IF you accomplish your goal? WHO will blessed by your courage to pursue and achieve that goal? This is your WHY.

Create your action plan. The most important part of goal-setting is creating your action plan, because this is literally your blueprint. This should tell you HOW, what and when. So, break those goals into small action-steps and set a date.

And, although you are setting a date, keep in mind that it is OKAY to make adjustments. Life happens. Just because we PLAN does not mean that everything will go accordingly.

Nevertheless, it is still beneficial to have a BLUEPRINT that tells you where you are going, how you’re going to get there AND alternate routes you can take WHEN a road is blocked – you might want to read that one again too.

After you’ve set your goal(s) and created your action plan, now it’s time to create your dream board or vision book. If you do this, be sure to include photos of OR representations of your WHY. You don’t need to just see pictures of what you are working for, but also reminders of WHY you are working for it!

Accountability. This is one clutch too. Find an accountability partner OR a method to hold you accountable. There are many ways of doing that – we’ll have to save that for another post.

Wrapping up step 3, I encourage you to not only enter the New Year with gratitude, but to journey through the year with gratitude as well! Every goal we pursue is an opportunity to learn, grow and evolve as people.

Your MINDSET is key. Make up in your mind to prioritize creating and maintaining healthy habits rather than zeroing in on the goals itself. Focus more on the steps you take to the destination and enjoy the journey, rather than focusing solely on the big picture – the final destination.

In my last blog, I shared with you how essential it is to SURRENDER. After you set your goals and create your action plan, it is now time to surrender. Pray over your goals and submit them to God, because ultimately it’s His plan for our lives we should be striving to fulfil. Yes, I want my dream car – a black Jeep Wrangler Unlimited – among other things – but personally, this is not my priority in 2022, like it was in 2021. Nah, I didn’t get my dream car. Yet. I still believe that I will and will put in the work to manifest it, however.. My emphasis this year will be on my goals that will benefit other people in a positive way. My dream car will be a blessing for me and it will come when it’s time. But, the true question is, how can I be a blessing to others in this New Year?

4) Fast/Cleanse/Detox. Our body and our mind is the vehicle used to carry out our life’s purpose. We can take care of ourselves by 1) Taking care of our bodies – eating right, ]exercising/staying active and being mindful of what we INHALE: what we eat, listen to, participate and what we EXHALE: what we speak (speak life), surrendering our will and releasing negativity/toxic thoughts.

One thing I like to do at the start of each year is to do a 3 day fast. One of my priorities during my fast is to surrender my goals to God in prayer and seek him for guidance, wisdom and clarity in my pursuit.

5) Declutter and organize your space. I don’t know all the scientific data and revelations about this.. but I know that there’s something to it. You can research it if you want *smiles* by trying it. It just helps to feel more motivated and as if the New Year is truly a fresh start, a clean slate, a blank canvas.. it’s a New Year and the possibilities are endless!

6) Get started now on those goals. Don’t wait until Jan 1 to begin. Start now.

7) Take your FAITH with you, wherever you go. It’s great that we set our goals and that we are vision focused, but listen, we must remember to take our faith with us. That is, our faith in our creator – the giver of life and of our purpose. Also, faith – that with Him, we can set our goals AND slay them, because He is able to give us strength, send encouragement when we need it most, provide resources even when we don’t know where it will come from. And, faith that even though we might not feel ready, good enough or qualified.. We are STILL chosen and more than capable. So go after your goals with FAITH – don’t try to do it without HIM and don’t try to do it without IT.

That is all Set Goals & Slay Family! I love you all and I appreciate each and every one of you that has supported this blog by reading, likes, sharing and commenting! I’ve seen some growth over the past year in subscribers and I’m super exciting to see what we can achieve in the New Year. I wish you a happy, healthy and safe New Year! Cheers!

Coming up next..

To start of the year, Iets take a deep dive into practical ways to enhance our productivity in the New Year. Most of us have a lot going on and it can be a challenge to juggle the different goals we want to work on in all aspects of our lives. Though it be challenging, it is not impossible. So if you’d like, go ahead and subscribe and stay tuned. I’ve got some helpful tips and strategies coming your way!

The Missing Piece: Goal Setting for the Anxious Mind

As we wrap up 2021, many people have begun to reflect on the year and plan for the next!

As we embark upon a new year and set our goals – it is essential for our success that we set SMART goals. A SMART goal is defined as Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Trackable. If you want to set a goal that you are LESS likely to quit, then you must have a strategy. The best strategy is made up of a SMART goal and an Action Plan. The gamechanger is what the plan contains!

I believe that the best Action Plans are flexible. There is room for growth and change. If the plan is not flexible then you are MORE likely to quit. You are more likely to give up on a goal that is not flexible – because it lacks wiggle room to pivot and adjust when LIFE happens.

Life happens when we least expect it. Although we ARE the CEO’s of our lives – We cannot control every detail of our life experiences. We can only control our actions and attitude in response to what happens.

There is one more aspect of goal-setting that I want to talk about and that is the importance of: SURRENDERING

Lately, I’ve been feeling really anxious. One of the many reasons why is that I am getting married in 1 month and my whole life is about to change – for the better!! I’m really excited that I get to marry and spend the rest of my life with thee love of my life!

Some changes, like starting new chapters in our lives, take us outside of our comfort zones. I’m goal-oriented, I love to plan, it helps me understand what needs to get done and when, helping to reduce my stress & anxiety. I find comfort in knowing the steps needed to get where I’m tryin to go. Of course, it’s beneficial when you’re pursuing SMART goals. But, this next chapter of my life will be a new adventure, with a lot of fill in the blanks. I don’t know where this new path with take me, but I’m both excited and undeniably anxious about the journey ahead!

One thing that generally helps me manage my stress and anxiety is meditation. I highly recommend meditation – if you don’t meditate regularly already. Try it. Be intentional about setting aside time to meditate; practice mindfulness and gratitude. Clear your mind and center your thoughts on good things! Things that you are grateful for. Take a moment to just BE – in the moment.

Now, when it comes to managing stress and anxiety as we pursue or goals, it is necessary that we learn to let go of the fear attached to our desire to control different aspects of how our dreams will manifest. Surrender.

That is part of the adventure of life.

Yes, we set goals and take strategic action to accomplish our goals and bring our dreams to life. But, once we truly surrender – we are no longer stressed about the HOW and the WHEN. If we know the WHAT and the WHY and are taking action steps then we should be able to find peace, knowing that IF it’s meant for me and if it’s meant to be THEN it will be!

Something I learned about myself this is year: One of my greatest fears is losing myself.

Transparent moment..

I have many ideas, goals and dreams – And, ultimately I my goal is to empower people to be and to do everything that God has purposed for them to do. Walking boldly, confidently in their God given purpose. Embracing everything that makes them different, unique – so that God can get the glory out of their lives. I believe that is my life purpose. I had to go through some things to discover this.

But, what if God wants my purpose to manifest differently than how I imagined?

The purpose is the same but what if He’s made some changes to the assignment?

Because people change right? And, our purpose is less about us and always more about helping others in some capacity. So, what if something about the assignment has changed?

This is why being in alignment is so necessary. I cannot be in alignment with my purpose and the giver of my purpose IF I am holding on too tightly to MY expectations of how things should go. That includes the timing, the route taken to get there and the vehicle used to fulfil God’s purpose for our lives. We are vessels, chosen for a unique purpose that extends beyond what our minds can comprehend. That is why the concept of legacies exists. When we are gone, a part of us should still live on.

Sometimes, we may wonder “why me?” Why did I have to go through that? Why am I the way that I am? It has everything to do with your purpose. Discovering that purpose, can be an adventure itself.

Once I found my purpose, I latched onto it tightly. It felt like I finally found my identity. It helped me get through some of the darkest moments of my life, when I wanted to give up on life and my dreams. When I felt worthless, I found my self-worth in knowing that I do have a purpose.

I spent so many years comparing myself to other women, hating myself and what I looked like in the mirror, covering up my curves, wondering why I was so shy, lonely, looked over, forgotten and experiencing heartbreak after heartbreak.. It was all for a purpose! I didn’t understand that back then. So, when I finally found my purpose, I embraced it as my identity.

Discovering my purpose was great and all, but here’s the problem..

While my purpose remains, the assignments can change. Here’s how:

1) The assignment itself can change (The WHAT)

2) There can be a change withIN the assignment (The HOW/WHEN/WHERE)

3) The assignment can be canceled

This is what we should also remember:

1) Even if something happens to the assignment, OUR purpose still remains.

2) Knowing our WHY is key! Knowing our WHY is key! Knowing our WHY is key! Because, knowing your WHY is the very reason why, even if the assignment changes or life happens initiating a change to the assignments, because YOU still have that purpose – God’s purpose for your life will still manifest. A way will be made for that vision to come to life.

Remember how I said one of my fears is losing myself? Well, I met with my mentor the other day and something she told me really stuck with me. It started with this question: “Who are we?”

What she was explaining to me was the reality that, we are not the creator and giver of our purpose. Our creator attached purpose to our lives. It’s His purpose that is to be fulfilled in the earth. We are the vessels he uses. So, He knows and understands and ALLOWS the assignments, seasons and chapters of our lives to change. He knows and understands. Knowing this, that is where we can find peace, knowing that HE will make a way.

I don’t need to worry about losing a special part of what makes Me, me, because if I surrender my will and embrace His will for my life, then the purpose will be fulfilled. And, the assignments.. Sometimes, they change and will manifest in a different way than we imagine or expect.

The lesson now is that, I am not my purpose. My purpose is NOT my identity. My purpose is a gift and a responsibility given by the creator. And, even though I am required to surrender, I can find peace in knowing that if I stay in alignment with the creator and giver of my purpose, then it will be fulfilled. Even when life happens.

So as we prepare for the New Year.. DO: Set your goals, create a strategic plan of action and take action, because FAITH without works is dead. Remember that – surrendering is MORE important than the goal and action plan. If there is no surrender – then your plan is not flexible and you will be more likely to give up on your goal.

Surrendering looks like releasing fear, expectation and control. It’s taking action all while accepting and finding rest in expecting the unexpected. Surrendering allows you to remain at peace when you have to unexpectedly re-route, because things didn’t go as planned and that’s okay.

God knows your heart and He will fight for you. But we may be required to release; to surrender our control so that he can steer us in the direction that HE wants us to go.

Alignment requires surrender.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Happy Holiday Set Goals & Slay Family!!❤️💚