How Bad Do You Want It?

We made it! The fourth Quarter is here! I know 2020 has had many of us feeling like yelling Jumanji when the clock strikes midnight, New Years Eve.. But, the blessed thing is that we are here and we’ve still got 3 months to close this year out strong.

What was your mindset and focus walking into 2020?

I walked into 2020 with MY plans. Plans to get back on stage performing spoken word, traveling and promoting my book at live events and more. All of my plans involved in person socializing, I was very much looking forward to. But.. Covid-19 happened.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months.. And, like everyone else, I had to pivot.

One thing that makes me really uncomfortable is unexpectedly having to change my plans. But, one thing I’ve learned the value of this year is that:

A key to success is one’s ability to be FLEXIBLE in their approach to achieving goals.

Life happens we least expect it.

Even when it’s uncomfortable, sometimes it will be necessary for us to SHIFT in our approach IF we really want to achieve our goals. That means switching the HOW without changing the WHAT.

Question is, how bad do you want it?

For most of 2020, I have been going back to the drawing board and analyzing my goals and strategy of attack, self-reflection and relaxation. I’ve learned how necessary it is to have and maintain a healthy life BALANCE.

I’ve also learned to be proud and to celebrate the fact that I’ve gotten through emotionally triggering moments in 2020 without spiraling into depression or anxiety attacks, like I did the past 3 years.

I thought I was going to focus 90% of my time and energy on growing my new business, promoting my books and performing poetry. But, instead, my focus has largely been on MY personal growth and development! Oh! And, making sure that have necessary systems in place to effectively grow my business, when it’s time.

I had no idea things were going to go in this direction. It’s been bittersweet and in SOME ways, a blessing in disguise. I mean, I like things to go my way.. But, I’ve learned to appreciate that it won’t always go my way and be okay with that.

I am excited to see how THIS season of unexpected preparation will unfold into something AMAZING.

My friend, whatever challenges that you have faced in 2020 or in life, it came to make you stronger AND to prepare and position YOU for what is to come.

Sometimes, God will step in and initiate CHANGE in our plans. Especially, if they do not ALIGN with HIS plan and purpose for our life.

Even still, God is working it all together for your good. I encourage you today, to trust him with your GOALS, DREAMS and with your LIFE.

Hang in there, we’ve got 3 months left in the year. Let’s finish strong. Let’s set goals & slay!

5 Steps to Bouncing Back

For the past 8 days I have felt exhausted; physically, mentally and emotionally.

Not only have I felt exausted, but I’ve felt uninspired and a lack of motivation.

When I experience this, I like to take a step back and rest. I’ve used more hours of PTO than I’d like to admit. But, you know, I’ve been feeling burnt out and like I just need a nice, long vacation. LOL. Haven’t you felt this way before?

Of course, we all have.. Or, will at some point. And, that is why self-care is so important and so necessary. Especially in the high-stress days we are living in now. There are so many things in our world Sometimes you’ll have to walk yourself through the process of shifting your perspective. I rehearse the point of prioritizing self-care on a consistent basis, even as a part of your daily routine, but it helps to combat feeling burnt out.

Step 1

Realize that IT is a feeling and that YOU have control over this feeling.

Step 2

Shut it down. Log off the social media pages, turn off the T.V., put your cellphone on silent or do not disturb and distance yourself from anyone or anything that you consider toxic to your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It’s time to shut it all done. Temporarily of course.

Step 3

Take a step back. Take time away from your “To – Do List.” And, I put this in quotations, because, maybe you don’t have an actual to-do list written out, but I’m sure you have a schedule or thing that you make sure to get done everyday. Whether it’s someone or something.. If you’ve felt stressed, unmotivated to do a certain task or have found yourself procrastinating, that may be something you want to take a step back from. Hit the pause button and take a moment to rest.

Step 4

Self-care. Self-care doesn’t look the same for everybody. Maybe it’s taking a few days off of work to read, meditate and have a family stay-cation. Or, maybe it’s hopping on a plane and flying out of the country for awhile. Maybe it’s having a spa day by yourself or with family. Maybe it’s turning off the alarm and sleeping all day. Self-care is time that you should use to rest, relax, detox, recharge and reset. TIP: Incorporate acts of self-care into your daily routine. Don’t wait until you feel stressed or burnt out to make self-care a priority. It is essential to your well-being and enhances your ability to bounce back!

Step 5

Take action. If you have gone through the process of taking steps 1 through 4, and you still feel burnt out, you have to make a conscious decision to take action! You can’t sit back and wait until you feel ready or motivated to jump back in. Sometimes, you’ve got to dip your foot in the water and get a taste of what it feels like to do what you love to do. And, once you get going you’ll begin to gain momentum. The key is to get started AND to keep going.

It’s okay to push yourself AFTER you have taken time to rest and recharge.

The passion that was once burning on the inside of you is still lit. It’s still there. But, sometimes, you have to give it a jump start. Sometimes, you will have to jump off the cliff and trust that the parachute will open.

We all experience burn out from time to time. In fact, I write about this topic at least once a year. It reminds me that it’s okay. And, really, it’s just a part of the process of setting and slaying my goals. I’ve been putting in work, chasing my goals, and when you add all the emotional stressors of life.. from the pandemic to protests, and all the challenges in my own business and personal relationships… It can get overwhelming. Sometimes, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to slow down or in fact, hit the pause button and rest. The same goes for you my friend. It’s okay to hit the pause button and rest.

Peace & Blessings to you. Thanks for reading!

The Art of Getting Started.. Pushing Past Fear and Setting Up a Business

“Fear thrives in a place of inaction. Overcome your anxiety by taking one small step forward.” – Sarah Boyd

It all started back when I was a little girl. I had a wild imagination; I always created my own books, played school, played doctor, ran my own businesses.. All of this, while playing with my toys, as a little girl, in my own little world.

Fast forward to age 25 and thinking about making my big, impossible looking dream, a reality. When I thought of it, my mind became consumed with countless thoughts of insecurity and unworthiness. I did not feel qualified or ready to start my online coaching business.

Fast forward to age 26; I was coming out of a 2 year relationship that shifted my perspective of my future. The breakup was like a turning point.I was done settling for less than I deserved or made me happy and I became determined to BE HAPPY no matter what. Not just in my love life, but in EVERY area of my life. It was time to level up spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially and time to MANIFEST my big, impossible looking dreams. Including, starting my online coaching business.

So, I finally decided to start my business, but I had no clue where to begin. I watched many YouTube videos, attended seminars, read books and blogs and learned tips from many business startup coaches across the web. I took the long route, and it was challenging figuring out what exactly applied to me and the type of business I wanted to start. As I learned, I began to get things set up. Finally, I had about 85% of what I needed, set up. But mentally, I wasn’t ready to launch. I was afraid.

FEAR is the one thing that stops most people from ever pursuing their goals and living their dreams. They fail to achieve their goals, because they don’t even start. That would’ve been my story, had I not pushed pushed my fear; thoughts of inadequecy and got started anyway. When it comes to pushing past fear, I believe you must do two things:

1

You must understand that FEAR is false evidence appearing real. Fear is an illusion. The more we focus on our fears, the greater and more intense it becomes and the more power IT has to prevent us from pursuing our goals. Take back your power, by focusing your attention on the positives: your experience, skills, creativity, and the things that make you unique! That is your leverage. That is your advantage. That is what qualifies YOU and is what will attract your ideal clients to you.

2

You must FEEL the fear and do it anyway. Sometimes, the fear won’t go away, even if you do shift your focus to the positives, consistently. You’ve got to continue focusing on the positive as much as possible and take action. As you take action, you will begin to gain momentum. Gain momentum and continue to build!

Because I allowed my fears to dictate my actions; or inaction; I procrastinated and made excuses for a long time, for why I was not yet launching my business. In fact, after I attained my 3 coaching certifications; I began to look for more certifications I could get. Why? Because, I feared that people would think I was not qualified, experienced enough or mature enough to run a coaching business.

To push past the fear, sometimes you’ve got to keep it REAL with yourself. Here’s what I did and what I still do, to push past my fears (the thoughts always come back..!):

  • I sit and write down a list of all my accomplishments: certifications, degrees, life experiences, career experience, etc.
  • When I look in the mirror, I recite positive affirmations! I remind myself who I am and who God has created me to be.
  • I shift my focus to my WHY and remind my self that, my WHY is soo big that my feelings of inadequecy or imperfection doesn’t even matter at this point.
  • I study my vision board and vision book, and I visualize MY future and what it will look like AFTER I take action and pursue my goals and begin to live my life operating in my God given purpose.

I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t have it ALL together. BUT, I was able to START. And, that is a point that many dreamers don’t get to. They fail to get started because of FEAR. Of course, there are other reasons that factor in, but FEAR is one of the most common reasons why. I am on a mission to empower creative women to pursue their big + impossible looking goals, which is why I will be transparent in sharing my journey. I’ve only just begun.

I have officially launched my new website: Setgoalsandslaycoaching.com, where I you’ll find my Set Goals & Slay products and services.

Aside from fear, another reason many people fail to start is simply because they don’t know HOW or where to start. I was able to start, and want to help others get started as well. That is why I created the Set Goals & Slay: Business Guide + Checklist. For a limited time only, you can download this 15 page guide for FREE. This guide includes:

✅Checklist of what you need to start your sidehustle/biz

✅Business entity/structures breakdown

✅Links to registration forms, EIN & Trademarks

✅Business Banking, Domain/Website Hosts

✅Links to Vendors/Suppliers

✅Free/Low-cost coaching/mentoring resources & business coach recommendations

DOWNLOAD your free copay today and start building an empire that you change your life and legacy!

SETGOALSANDSLAYCOACHING.COM

3 Steps to Combating & Conquering Perfectionism: So You Can Stop Waiting and Start Slaying Your Goals

Is perfectionism preventing you from achieving your goal?

Maybe you’ve been wanting to publish your first book or launch your first business. Maybe, you been thinking about starting a podcast or changing careers.

Whatever your dream is, you’ve been putting it off because you don’t feel like you are ready, qualified or good enough. Or, you don’t believe your product or service is PERFECT.

The first thing I want you to know, is that I understand. So, everything I am sharing with you today, comes from a place of personal experience.

I’ve been blessed to write and publish 3 books, start a business and changed careers, less than 1 year ago, all of that, while being an over-thinker. I over think almost EVERYTHING; especially when it comes to potentially LIFE CHANGING decisions.

Not only that, but I love to PLAN. I get almost as much enjoyment in the process of planning as I do, the final result. However, therein lies the opportunity to overthink which for me, often leads to wanting to perfect whatever the task is at hand.

In order to reach the stage of RELEASE, I had to learn to push past my FEARS of IMPERFECTION and release my self and my gifts.

If you want to combat and conquer PERFECTIONISM you are going to RELEASE.

You must give yourself permission to be great. No one can do this for you.

Of course, it’s sounds simple, but there’s a few things you’ll need to do so that you CAN release, combat and conquer!

Tip #1

KNOW YOUR WHY. Here are two questions that you should ask yourself:

What is my WHY factor? (My overall reason for doing what I do)

Is my why BIG enough?

Your WHY should be greater than your insecurities and your limiting belief; any reason you use to justify not taking action… not stepping out on faith, not launching the biz or book, not stepping outside of your comfort zone and going for what you really want.

If your WHY is not big enough, then go back to the drawing board and list ALL the ways that you accomplishing your goal will impact you, those you love AND what will happen IF you do not accomplish your goal.

The benefit of knowing your WHY and having a WHY that is greater than your desire for perfection is that it will motivate you to KEEP GOING. You WHY should motivate you! It should persuade you to take strategic action!

Tip #2

FIND AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER. In January, I joined a mentorship program so that I can 1) Be mentored by someone who is already levels above me, doing and succeeding at what I desire to do AND 2) To be surrounded by like-minded individuals, who are more-so on my level, but are striving to higher heights as well. With this mentorship program comes assignments, meetings, deadlines and social interaction. Altogether, this works to hold ME accountable to the goals that I set at the start and am working toward. We hold each other accountable and my mentor, the coach, holds me accountable as well. I share all that to say this, find yourself SOMEONE; be it, a coach, a mentor, a friend or family member.. Find someone to hold you accountable for your actions or non-actions as it pertains to the pursuit of your goals. Find someone who will not only tell you what you WANT to hear, but what you NEED to hear as well. This could be a game-changer for those of you who having been going at your goals without a support system.

Tip # 3

SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE. The ultimate key to combating perfectionism IS shifting your perception of your imperfection.

I know, here I go again talking about shifting your MINDSET. But, literally, I talk about it all the time, because it is the game-changer for just about everything in life. Most importantly, your ability to achieve your goals.

So, what you want to do is shift your perception, so that you see your imperfection, problem or disadvantage for what it can be.

See your disadvantage as an advantage. And advantage to attract YOUR ideal audience or clients. An advantage to be relatable. See it as an ASSET.

It can be the one thing that makes you stand out or noticeable in a crowd or in an oversaturated market. And, it can be what ATTRACTS what is ideal for you, to you… Ideal clients, ideal opportunities, connections, etc.

It CAN be, IF you SHIFT your perception, embrace the flaws and allow it to WORK for you!

Your IMPERFECTION could very well be your superpower.

For more tips & strategies on slaying your goals, I encourage you to read my blog on tackling limiting beliefs. This is beneficial to getting to the root issue of perfectionism and taking steps to conquering it.

Thank you for reading! Share with someone who needs this.

Goal Achievement: How to Get Started and Stop Stopping

You’ve got this BIG dream that you’ve been pursuing but for some reason you have not made the progress you were hoping you would’ve by now. It’s May, and you’re beginning to feel a bit discouraged. You want to achieve your goals, but you keep stopping. You started out strong and then along the way you loss momentum, you slowed down and became inconsistent. You’ve reached a point where you’re considering giving up entirely.. You’ve have thoughts like: Maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Maybe it’s not meant for me after all..

I know it doesn’t look good right now! You’ve experienced a setback and it’s hard to envision yourself bouncing back. But hear me on this.. 2020 is still YOUR year! Your GOAL is still worth pursuing. And, you are STILL more than capable! You were created with PURPOSE and God has a divine plan for your life. The Corona-virus or any other setback cannot CANCEL God’s will for your life. He has plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29: 11 – 13). The setback you are experiencing in your life is temporary. Delayed does not mean denied. God gave you that passion and assigned purpose to your life. Don’t count yourself out, because you’ve slowed down or contemplated stopping. If you’ve stopped, it’s not too late to begin again.

I’m not here to just motivate or encourage you. I am here to give you practical tips for creating a SHIFT in your life. You don’t have to STOP. Here’s what you can do to KEEP going.

The top reasons people STOP or FAIL to START are:

Fear

Perfectionism

Waiting for a right time

AND

Not having an action plan/strategy

Some of us STOP or fail to get started often because of a combination of reasons. Maybe it’s fear or perfectionism.. But, I believe it is most commonly combined with not having the RIGHT PLAN. Not having the right plan is like having a destination in mind, somewhere you’ve never traveled before and just idoly wandering with no clue as to how you’re going to get there. Here this! YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO DO MORE THAN “JUST WINGING IT” when it comes to the pursuit of your dreams.

A real plan is when you have identified where you’re going, what you need to get there, how you’re going to get there and what you will do if/when something doesn’t quite go as plan A.. what is your plan B, C or D. Check out some of my past blog posts where we break down setting strategic goals and creating a plan of action.

You can create a strategy that will help you to STOP stopping OR that will encourage you START!

Here’s how:

1

IF you really want to STOP stopping, the first thing you need to do is go back to the drawing board and ask yourself these questions:

Does my goal reflect my dream?

Remember, your goal(s) are just a break down (steps) leading towards the ultimate dream (the big picture). If your goals are not in alignment with the ultimate dream, then you are just doing “busy work” that will lead to burnout and lack of motivation very quickly.

Is my goal big enough?

What is my WHY factor? (Why do I want to achieve this goal? What will happen if I do not achieve this goal? What will happen/change WHEN I achieve my goal?)

2

Figure out why you keep stopping. Take time to analyze where you are at, why you keep stopping and then for each reason, brainstorm possible alternate routes/solutions. You should never give up on you goals without exploring other options first.

3

Create a support system by:

Getting an accountability partner, coach or mentor.

AND

Utilizing calendars/planers, habit trackers or lists and write out your goals daily, to remind you of your goals and to hold yourself accountable.

In the upcoming blogs, we will tackle the top reasons many people STOP or fail to start, i.e. fear, procrastination, perfectionism, etc.

By completing each of the steps above, you can CREATE a STRATEGY to slay your goals without STOPPING. And, life happens, so if you do stop, if you create the RIGHT plan, you should feel comfortable enough to pick-up where you left off and keep going.

I’m just trying to help someone to KEEP GOING, because I know it gets rough and tough out here sometimes. WE are all experiencing setbacks in these uncertain times and have had to pivot and adjust to what is quickly becoming our new normal.

It may not be easy to start OR to keep going, but I promise you, with the RIGHT strategy you CAN and when you do, it will be worth it!

You don’t have to chase your goals alone! I am here to offer accountability and support as your set and slay your BIG + Impossible looking goals. It is possible IF you have the Right mindset, Right goal and the Right strategy. Ready to create the strategy you need to set goals and slay? Click HERE to learn more about Goal Success Strategy Sessions.