Do This Whenever You Feel Uncomfortable, Unconfident or Inadequate..

For the past couple of weeks I have been taking time to hit the reset button and get some much needed r&r. Usually, I am always on the go and tend to keep going until I hit a wall; where I become physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

During my time of rest and relaxation, I have had opportunities to take part in a few activities I haven’t done in a long time and others that I have never done before. Somehow I found myself outside of my comfort zone, at times where I was not expecting to end up there. Maybe you can relate, but I have found myself having to try a little harder to shift my perspective of my comfort zone – or – in this case, lack thereof. I mean, I’ve literally had to pause, walk and talk myself through the process of shifting my mindset.

Many people are comfortable with their negative mindset/perspective. But, to truly grow and evolve as a person, we must be willing to shift our mindsets and adapt; to enable personal growth and development in uncomfortable experiences.

I’ve gotten a really late start, but over the past 3 years, I’ve really come to loooove Marvel and DC movies and shows. I’ve always wished I had a super power.. But, what I am realizing is that WE already have a super power. Like some of our Superhero faves, who did not discover or come to terms with their powers until they were teenagers or young adults; we have a power that many of us have not discovered or come to terms with yet. Our super power is our MIND and our ability to SHIFT.

So what, we can’t shape-shift or run at super human speed? We have a power that literally can change the trajectory of our lives IF we know how to use it.. yes, to our advantage. Often, when I am outside of my comfort zone, naturally, I feel uncomfortable, unconfident and inadequate. But lately, I’ve been pressing pause and walking myself through the process of shifting my mindset, so that I am focusing less on WHAT I can’t do very well and focusing on what I CAN and have done well.

Y’all, I have found myself tripping up and making mistakes on trivial things, things that I have done many times before AND some things that I’ve never done before. The trip up has not necessarily been in the mistake I made or embarrassment it caused, but rather the fact that I was impatient and disappointed in myself for not excelling. Before beating myself up about it mentally, I hit pause and remind myself that..

  1. It’s okay to try hard and still mess up, many things, over and over again
  2. It’s okay to NOT be perfect
  3. It’s okay to be good at SOME things and not everything. OR, one or two things instead of many things
  4. It’s better to be authentically you and stay in your lane, no matter how uncomfortable it may be at times
  5. Your superpower is your mental ability to leverage being comfortable IN uncomfortable situations
  6. Your super is also your imperfection

I’ve literally had to tell myself at times, “So what, you may not be good at a lot of things, but it is super valuable, just the two or three things that you do VERY well.”

When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, unconfident or inadequate, heres’ what you should do:

  1. Be patient with yourself
  2. Be consistent in going through the process to SHIFT
  3. Celebrate the small wins too!
  4. Give yourself as many pep talks as you need

Use your super power: your mind. It is so much more powerful than you realize. I encourage you to research and study the power of YOUR mind AND your thoughts. Use your mind; and more specifically to change your life; beginning with the negative thoughts you think consistently about uncomfortable things you experience. When a negative thought comes to mind, replace it with a positive thought. Do this, over and over again. Practice mindfulness and meditation, listen to binaural beats as you sleep, detox and eat clean, stay active and surround yourself with positive minded people.. All these things help us to have a more positive perspective of ourselves and of the challenging and uncomfortable situations we experience.

Stay positive minded & stay safe out there. Keep chasing & manifesting those dreams!

The Art of Getting Started.. Pushing Past Fear and Setting Up a Business

“Fear thrives in a place of inaction. Overcome your anxiety by taking one small step forward.” – Sarah Boyd

It all started back when I was a little girl. I had a wild imagination; I always created my own books, played school, played doctor, ran my own businesses.. All of this, while playing with my toys, as a little girl, in my own little world.

Fast forward to age 25 and thinking about making my big, impossible looking dream, a reality. When I thought of it, my mind became consumed with countless thoughts of insecurity and unworthiness. I did not feel qualified or ready to start my online coaching business.

Fast forward to age 26; I was coming out of a 2 year relationship that shifted my perspective of my future. The breakup was like a turning point.I was done settling for less than I deserved or made me happy and I became determined to BE HAPPY no matter what. Not just in my love life, but in EVERY area of my life. It was time to level up spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially and time to MANIFEST my big, impossible looking dreams. Including, starting my online coaching business.

So, I finally decided to start my business, but I had no clue where to begin. I watched many YouTube videos, attended seminars, read books and blogs and learned tips from many business startup coaches across the web. I took the long route, and it was challenging figuring out what exactly applied to me and the type of business I wanted to start. As I learned, I began to get things set up. Finally, I had about 85% of what I needed, set up. But mentally, I wasn’t ready to launch. I was afraid.

FEAR is the one thing that stops most people from ever pursuing their goals and living their dreams. They fail to achieve their goals, because they don’t even start. That would’ve been my story, had I not pushed pushed my fear; thoughts of inadequecy and got started anyway. When it comes to pushing past fear, I believe you must do two things:

1

You must understand that FEAR is false evidence appearing real. Fear is an illusion. The more we focus on our fears, the greater and more intense it becomes and the more power IT has to prevent us from pursuing our goals. Take back your power, by focusing your attention on the positives: your experience, skills, creativity, and the things that make you unique! That is your leverage. That is your advantage. That is what qualifies YOU and is what will attract your ideal clients to you.

2

You must FEEL the fear and do it anyway. Sometimes, the fear won’t go away, even if you do shift your focus to the positives, consistently. You’ve got to continue focusing on the positive as much as possible and take action. As you take action, you will begin to gain momentum. Gain momentum and continue to build!

Because I allowed my fears to dictate my actions; or inaction; I procrastinated and made excuses for a long time, for why I was not yet launching my business. In fact, after I attained my 3 coaching certifications; I began to look for more certifications I could get. Why? Because, I feared that people would think I was not qualified, experienced enough or mature enough to run a coaching business.

To push past the fear, sometimes you’ve got to keep it REAL with yourself. Here’s what I did and what I still do, to push past my fears (the thoughts always come back..!):

  • I sit and write down a list of all my accomplishments: certifications, degrees, life experiences, career experience, etc.
  • When I look in the mirror, I recite positive affirmations! I remind myself who I am and who God has created me to be.
  • I shift my focus to my WHY and remind my self that, my WHY is soo big that my feelings of inadequecy or imperfection doesn’t even matter at this point.
  • I study my vision board and vision book, and I visualize MY future and what it will look like AFTER I take action and pursue my goals and begin to live my life operating in my God given purpose.

I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t have it ALL together. BUT, I was able to START. And, that is a point that many dreamers don’t get to. They fail to get started because of FEAR. Of course, there are other reasons that factor in, but FEAR is one of the most common reasons why. I am on a mission to empower creative women to pursue their big + impossible looking goals, which is why I will be transparent in sharing my journey. I’ve only just begun.

I have officially launched my new website: Setgoalsandslaycoaching.com, where I you’ll find my Set Goals & Slay products and services.

Aside from fear, another reason many people fail to start is simply because they don’t know HOW or where to start. I was able to start, and want to help others get started as well. That is why I created the Set Goals & Slay: Business Guide + Checklist. For a limited time only, you can download this 15 page guide for FREE. This guide includes:

✅Checklist of what you need to start your sidehustle/biz

✅Business entity/structures breakdown

✅Links to registration forms, EIN & Trademarks

✅Business Banking, Domain/Website Hosts

✅Links to Vendors/Suppliers

✅Free/Low-cost coaching/mentoring resources & business coach recommendations

DOWNLOAD your free copay today and start building an empire that you change your life and legacy!

SETGOALSANDSLAYCOACHING.COM

Goal Achievement: How to Get Started and Stop Stopping

You’ve got this BIG dream that you’ve been pursuing but for some reason you have not made the progress you were hoping you would’ve by now. It’s May, and you’re beginning to feel a bit discouraged. You want to achieve your goals, but you keep stopping. You started out strong and then along the way you loss momentum, you slowed down and became inconsistent. You’ve reached a point where you’re considering giving up entirely.. You’ve have thoughts like: Maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Maybe it’s not meant for me after all..

I know it doesn’t look good right now! You’ve experienced a setback and it’s hard to envision yourself bouncing back. But hear me on this.. 2020 is still YOUR year! Your GOAL is still worth pursuing. And, you are STILL more than capable! You were created with PURPOSE and God has a divine plan for your life. The Corona-virus or any other setback cannot CANCEL God’s will for your life. He has plans to give you a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29: 11 – 13). The setback you are experiencing in your life is temporary. Delayed does not mean denied. God gave you that passion and assigned purpose to your life. Don’t count yourself out, because you’ve slowed down or contemplated stopping. If you’ve stopped, it’s not too late to begin again.

I’m not here to just motivate or encourage you. I am here to give you practical tips for creating a SHIFT in your life. You don’t have to STOP. Here’s what you can do to KEEP going.

The top reasons people STOP or FAIL to START are:

Fear

Perfectionism

Waiting for a right time

AND

Not having an action plan/strategy

Some of us STOP or fail to get started often because of a combination of reasons. Maybe it’s fear or perfectionism.. But, I believe it is most commonly combined with not having the RIGHT PLAN. Not having the right plan is like having a destination in mind, somewhere you’ve never traveled before and just idoly wandering with no clue as to how you’re going to get there. Here this! YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO DO MORE THAN “JUST WINGING IT” when it comes to the pursuit of your dreams.

A real plan is when you have identified where you’re going, what you need to get there, how you’re going to get there and what you will do if/when something doesn’t quite go as plan A.. what is your plan B, C or D. Check out some of my past blog posts where we break down setting strategic goals and creating a plan of action.

You can create a strategy that will help you to STOP stopping OR that will encourage you START!

Here’s how:

1

IF you really want to STOP stopping, the first thing you need to do is go back to the drawing board and ask yourself these questions:

Does my goal reflect my dream?

Remember, your goal(s) are just a break down (steps) leading towards the ultimate dream (the big picture). If your goals are not in alignment with the ultimate dream, then you are just doing “busy work” that will lead to burnout and lack of motivation very quickly.

Is my goal big enough?

What is my WHY factor? (Why do I want to achieve this goal? What will happen if I do not achieve this goal? What will happen/change WHEN I achieve my goal?)

2

Figure out why you keep stopping. Take time to analyze where you are at, why you keep stopping and then for each reason, brainstorm possible alternate routes/solutions. You should never give up on you goals without exploring other options first.

3

Create a support system by:

Getting an accountability partner, coach or mentor.

AND

Utilizing calendars/planers, habit trackers or lists and write out your goals daily, to remind you of your goals and to hold yourself accountable.

In the upcoming blogs, we will tackle the top reasons many people STOP or fail to start, i.e. fear, procrastination, perfectionism, etc.

By completing each of the steps above, you can CREATE a STRATEGY to slay your goals without STOPPING. And, life happens, so if you do stop, if you create the RIGHT plan, you should feel comfortable enough to pick-up where you left off and keep going.

I’m just trying to help someone to KEEP GOING, because I know it gets rough and tough out here sometimes. WE are all experiencing setbacks in these uncertain times and have had to pivot and adjust to what is quickly becoming our new normal.

It may not be easy to start OR to keep going, but I promise you, with the RIGHT strategy you CAN and when you do, it will be worth it!

You don’t have to chase your goals alone! I am here to offer accountability and support as your set and slay your BIG + Impossible looking goals. It is possible IF you have the Right mindset, Right goal and the Right strategy. Ready to create the strategy you need to set goals and slay? Click HERE to learn more about Goal Success Strategy Sessions.

How to Adjust to Your New Normal, Without Quitting Your Goals

This pandemic has effected us in so many ways. It has forced us as to adjust to a new normal. Even though our new normal is temporary, it’s safe to say, there are some aspects of our day to day living that will never be the same. Right now, most of us are living outside of our comfort zones, because we have to. Some of us have found ourselves in scenarios where we have to think outside of the box. We are all being impacted by Covid-19 in some type of way.

Aside from the obvious impacts economically, physically and socially, this pandemic has impacted individuals as it relates to their goals. Many of us began the year off feeling motivated and optimistic about the exciting opportunities 2020 would bring! However, many of us are now looking at our dreams and feel hopeless, because of everything that is going on in our world today. And while, even I, as a Goal Success Coach harp on how essential it is to anticipate and plan for potential setbacks upfront, none of us could have anticipated such a disturbance such as this coronavirus. I get it. I’m in this thing too. I came into 2020 with high hopes and big dreams and this pandemic as definitely disrupted my plans and has had me feeling a little.. lost.

Despite how discouraged this setback has caused me to feel at times, I am not giving up on my 2020 goals and I encourage you not to as well. Instead of giving up on your dreams, pivot.. You can get to your destination, but you’re going to have to take another route. My friend, there is opportunity in taking an alternative route. Even if it’s the long way, that simply means there’s more opportunities to learn and grow from. Shift your focus so that you can see this as a blessing in disguise.

Don’t give up on your 2020 Goals.. Instead, Pivot. Take time to shift your mindset and focus your attention on your action plan. This will allow you to become aware of opportunities that you would not see otherwise.

Step 1: Pause. Be still and breath. Allow yourself to feel the emotions; cry if you need, scream if you need to. Just be in the moment and feel. Feel the frustration, the discouragement, the anxiety.. Accept the moment for what it is.. A moment, that will eventually pass, making way for more positive and enjoyable emotions. A great way to pause is by meditating or practicing mindfulness.

Step 2: Identify alternative routes; solutions and resources. Go back to the drawing board.. that’s your vision board, your vision book, your written goals and plan of action. Explore different options, see what you need to adjust. Don’t give up on your goal just because plan A didn’t go as planned.

Take time re-adjust. Re-adjust your attitude, your mindset and your plan!

Going forward, when you set your goals and create your action plans, create in with FLEXIBILITY in mind. Meaning that you identify possible limitations and limiting beliefs upfront. Identify possible solutions, alternative and resources that may come in handy. Anticipate possible setbacks and disruptions so that your plan of action is setback and disruption-proof!

Don’t give up on your 2020 goals! We still have 3 quarters left in the year. This is the time where you should be reflecting on quarter 1 and re-adjusting as needed, anyway!

Wishing you a happy and productive week! Stay prayerful, stay safe, stay healthy. Blessings to you all!

Conquer Your Limiting Beliefs

The human mind is a battle field. Every day we are tempted with negative thoughts and challenging situations. Some days we fight and conquer, other days we succumb. Many people live day to day without the realization that it is up to them to fight and conquer their limitations and limiting beliefs.

IF we want to SLAY our goals, we must make the conscious decision to confront and conquer our limitations and limiting beliefs, every day.

I am going to share with you HOW you can begin to SHIFT and TRANSFORM your mindset; from a negative to a positive success “growth” mindset, that will position you to confront and conquer your limitations and limiting belief.

A limitation is anything that serves as an excuse, to justify not taking strategic action to pursue your goals. Example: I don’t have enough time or money to start my business.

Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts that you allow to justify not taking strategic action to pursue your goals. Example: I am not good enough or qualified for people to take me seriously.

Here are the facts about Limitations & Limiting Beliefs:

We ALL battle negative thoughts and challenging situations everyday.

It is within our control to combat negative thoughts and to perceive our challenging situations in a positive way.

It is possible, but it also takes practice to attain and maintain a positive mindset and optimistic perspective in life.

A positive success “growth” mindset and an optimistic perspective in life WILL help you attract and take action (steps) that are in direct alignment with the goals you wish to achieve. It will also help you ATTRACT more positive opportunities and experiences into your life.

No matter how positive/optimistic you are, you will still confront negative thoughts and challenging situations. BUT you will be better equipt to GROW through it, because of the positive success “growth” mindset that you have.

A positive success “growth” mindset will allow you to SEE your challenges (negative situations), setbacks, etc. as a learning opportunity, as a setup in disguise, an opportunity to recalibrate, to realign and more.

You decide, each time you are faced with a negative thought or challenging situation, whether or not you will allow it to control you OR if you will confront and conquer it.

The purpose of this blog post is to present you with practical tips and tools that you can use to CONFRONT and CONQUER your limitations and limiting beliefs.

If you have decided to take strategic action to confront and conquer your limitations and limiting beliefs, congratulations! You have just made a decision that will ultimately change the trajectory of your life. Because now, you are about to WORK to transform your mindset.

By implementing the following tips into your daily routine, you will begin to SEE results in your THINKING and in your overall perspective of your self, you circumstance and life itself.

What can you do to TRANSFORM your Mindset?

Meditation – You can find a number of guided and non-guided, verbal and subliminal an subliminal meditations and visualization exercises on YouTube for a variety of topics such as anxiety, stress, depression, mental or emotional healing, relaxation, energy boosting, self-love and confidence, client attraction and so much more!

Affirm Yourself – Affirmations can be extremely powerful IF you know how to utilize them in a way that will work for YOU. This is important, because many people just think of affirmations as a cliche’ quote that sounds good on the back of a book or as your caption for your Instagram and Facebook post. But, affirmations are so POWERFUL when you put them to work!

Here are a few ways you can get AFFIRMATIONS to work for you:

  • Choose 5 to 10 affirmations to write and speak out loud; with conviction/enthusiasm DAILY
  • Create affirmation Post IT Notes and to stick on your bathroom mirror
  • Download the Sticky Note app & post affirmations on your Laptop and Cellphone screen savers
  • Hack your social media news feeds by follow multiple pages that post multiple affirmations throughout the day
  • Listen to affirmations while meditating AND as you sleep *there are 8 hr affirmations on YouTube* This is a great way to re-program and transform your mind (subliminal) without having to do anything but SLEEP!

Move – Get your body moving! And while you do so, affirm yourself! You can do this a variety of way; but I’ll share what I do: I go to the gym, if I have a lot on my mind and I walk a mile around the track. As I walk, I rehearse the affirmations (goals) that I write out daily as I walk. If I’m feel low confidence, I affirm myself with affirmations specific to confidence. Sometimes I pray as I walk. Prayer is also a form of meditation.

Often times, when I’m battling thoughts of anxiety or depression, I go for a walk in the park and affirm myself. This way, I’m getting that Vitamin D and being around people without having one on one contact or having to socialize helps me during those times vs shutting myself indoors or finding comfort in my bed sheets. All I’m saying is, FIND what works for you and do it consistently.

Journal – This is a great way to clear your mind. You can make a list, you can keep it short or you can keeping writing until you feel a sense of clarity or relief. There doesn’t have to be any particular rule or format to follow. The awesome thing about it, is that it works.

Read self-help, personal growth and development books on Mindset. Authors and Experts I recommend studying are: Brian Tracy, Bob Proctor and Dr Carol Dweck. I also have a book called Empower You! Mindset Transformation: A Daily Devotional for the Mind that is a 70 Day Devotional geared towards shifting and shaping your mindset from a negative mindset to a positive, success “growth” mindset. Inside my book, I include a full list of authors/experts and books on mindset, success and personal development, that I have read and studied. In fact, everything that I share with you is based on what I have learned and applied to my own life.

My best advice is to choose multiple of these to try and begin rotating them throughout your week. Let’s say you choose to start meditating and journaling. You don’t have to meditate or journal every day.

By implementing a few of these activities into your daily routine, I believe that you will begin to not only become more self-aware, but you will develop a greater peace of mind, a positive success “growth” mindset and a more optimistic perspective in life!