How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs That Are Preventing You From Pursuing Your Goals and Manifesting Your Dream

“The only limits you have are the limits you believe.” – Wayne Dyer

The number one thing that holds most people back from pursuing and achieving their goals are limitations and limiting beliefs. A limitation is anyTHING (person, place or circumstance) that prevents you from pursuing your goals. Limiting beliefs are recurring, negative thoughts or false beliefs that prevent you from pursuing your goals.

Do you have a goal that you’ve been wanting to accomplish or dream you desire to manifest, but you haven’t quite gotten around to taking any action steps because of fear, doubt, insecurity? Or, maybe you’ve been procrastinating because you lack the necessary funding, time, education or resources needed to pursue the goal. Anything you can identify as an excuse, a reason for procrastinating, not taking a leap of faith and chasing your dream is a limitation or a limiting belief.

Moment of transparency. One of my goals for 2020 and 2021 has been to build an online audience organically. One thing that is a MUST if you want to be successful in building an online audience is consistency. So, whether it’s going live one month or once a week, you’ve gotta be consistent if you want to generate legitimate, sustainable results. Although I’ve been hanging out in these internet streets for a minute and some change now, I have not been consistent in both showing up and providing value. Sometimes I would show up consistently for a period of time, but I would post just to post without providing any real value. I can give you a list of reasons, or dare I say, excuses, as to why I was not consistent. But, I’ll just share one of them with you.

One reason I was not consistent is because I felt discouraged. I felt discouraged because I did not see overnight results. I would post and post and felt as if I was not being seen or heard. It quickly became about the number of likes and comments, rather than the overall purpose of posting empowering content. I was also trying to copy what I saw other people doing, rather than discovering my own lane and walking in that. Can you relate to this? Have you ever felt discouraged because you felt unnoticed, or as if your hard work or effort wasn’t good enough? Or, maybe that your time, effort, money or energy well spent wasn’t yielding results fast enough, if at all.. There are so many things that can cause us to shy away from taking the next step towards our goals or from ever getting started. But, here’s what I want you to know: Delayed does not mean denied. A slow start does not mean that you won’t finish. And, nothing is wrong with a small beginning. Read that again.

Now, let’s get to the good stuff. The reason you’re really here is to learn what you can do to overcome your limitations and limiting beliefs, so that you can start pursuing your goals and manifesting your dreams! Here we go..

Step 1

Write out and visualize your goals as if you have already achieved them.

Step 2

Identify your WHY Factor. Your Why Factor is your overall reason for pursuing the goal. Think about what will happen once you’ve achieve the goal. Think about who it will impact and how. Also, think about what happens if you never face your fear, step outside of your comfort zone and pursue the goal. As you proceed though, it’s best to focus more on your WHY and all of the amazing things that WILL come as a result of you finding the courage to pursue your goal and manifest your dream rather than what won’t happen.

If your WHY does not motivate you to pursue your goal and to keep going when things get tough, then your WHY is not significant enough.

Step 3

For each goal, make a list of every limitation and limiting belief that you can think of.

Step 4

For each limitation identify and write out an alternate route for reaching your goal OR of baby steps that you can take to work through that limitation.

Step 5

For each limiting belief, come up with a positive affirmation. Whether you have one affirmation, 20 affirmations or something in-between, consider doing any of the following:

  • Get a notebook and dedicate it solely to writing out your affirmations daily. Each day as you write out your affirmations, speak them aloud with authority and conviction.
  • Print or write out your affirmations on sticky notes and post them on your bathroom mirror, front door or in a place that you frequent the most throughout your day.
  • Keep a list of your affirmations in your pocket or purse and whenever the negative thoughts/beliefs begin to bombard your mind, pull out your list and begin to read and quote your affirmations aloud if you can.
  • Memorize your positive affirmations, and recite them multiple throughout your day, daily.
  • Each morning and night, stand in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and recite your positive affirmations. This is a solid way to boost your self-esteem and build your confidence. I’m speaking from experience too!

As you take these steps and incorporate positive affirmations into your daily routine, remember that it is okay if you don’t FEEL or BELIEVE what you are writing and speaking right away.

The purpose of incorporating affirmations into your daily routine is because it is an effective way of transforming your mindset and therefore, getting rid of those false beliefs. What we are really doing is working to transform your overall self belief system. Because, how you perceive yourself and how you perceive your ability to achieve your goals maters. I believe in you, and I believe that you have what it takes to slay your goal. But, that doesn’t matter if YOU don’t believe in you.

Please note that the affirmation tips above are not just for limiting beliefs that are about you specifically, for example, your physical appearance or your skills. The tips can be used for recurring negative thoughts or beliefs that relate to having a poverty mindset, lack of resources, etc.

Even though I have felt discouraged about reaching one of my goals, I have not given up. I have continued to think positive, speak positive and to take action steps towards my goal. I decided to keep going AFTER I took time to rest, refocus and restart. In fact, I took to find my lane and am forging ahead on a new path, knowing that even thought it might not look like much now, someday, it will manifest into something great!

Remember: It is okay to reset, restart, and refocus as many times as you need to. You have the passion and purpose for a reason, don’t give up on it before you’ve even started. And, if you have started, keep going!

I wish you nothing but Peace, Love, Blessings Wealth & Good Health, Set Goals & Slay Family

How You Can Still Be Successful and Achieve Your Goals in 2021

Happy New Year Set Goals & Slay Family and Friends!

Although we are still recovering from 2020, I am excited about what God is going to do in 2021. 2020 was rough and seemingly unrelenting at times.. And 2021, has already shown a few challenges already.. But, I am optimistic that ALL things are already working together for our good.

As we kick off the New Year, I thought I would share with you my process for setting goals and creating my Success Game-plan for 2021.

I believe that it is soo important for us to set ourselves up for the success that we want to achieve in the upcoming year. In fact, it’s more important that we do, this year, than it was in the previous years, simply because we are experiencing a new normal. And, just because we entered a New Year does not mean that the challenges we faced will suddenly go away. Many people on social media appeared eager to wave goodbye 2020, but neglected to set goals and create a plan for 2021, because 2020 was so disappointing in many ways.

We will face more challenges in 2021. But we still have work to do. God still has a purpose and plan for our lives. And, our DREAMS are still possible. But, it is imperative that we set goals and create a STRATEGY so that we are in prime position to challenge what comes to challenge us and continue on our pursuit!

So, let’s jump in family. This is my how I set myself up for success each year.

At the end of each year and at the end of each quarter, I like to take time to reflect..

▪️ On my goals
▪️ My progress
▪️ Wins and Losses
▪️ Lessons learned

At the start of each New Year and new quarter, I take time to:

▪️ Pray
▪️ Meditate
▪️ Decide what to focus on most
▪️ Map out a strategy

If you have something you want to accomplish in 2021, it is more important now, than ever before that you have a STRATEGY.

I know many individuals, and even myself at one point, have been tempted to shy away from setting goals and creating any kind of game-plan because of how hard we were hit in 2020.

2020 was a challenging year in so many ways. Many of our plans were disrupted and many people were forced to make game-changing decisions that they were not prepared to make.

2020 forced us outside of our comfort zones.

2020 forced us to pivot, and think outside the box.

In order to pivot, your MINDSET must shift first.

Read that again.

Because, anybody who decided they would NOT or could not make adjustments to coexist with the changes occurring in our world, did not have a mindset shift.

Without a mindset shift, you are blinded. You are not open to possible, new opportunities or alternative routes to reaching your goals and manifesting your dreams.

So, in 2021 it is necessary to not only have the right mindset, but also the right strategy.

You need a Strategic game-plan that tells you WHERE you wanna go, HOW you’re gonna get there and WHAT you’re gonna do IF things don’t go as planned.

How many of you had plans that were thrown off track in 2020?

Pretty much everybody right?

I encourage you to create a strategy that incorporates a plan for WHAT you can do IF and WHEN something unexpected happens.

Life often happens when we least expect it. But, that doesn’t mean we should live in fear or never set any goals. Instead, we should PLAN as best as we can in advance. Identify possible limitations & limiting beliefs upfront. Then, identify possible solutions or alternatives.

Giving up is one thing. Not even trying and failing to start is another.

Grab your copy of the Set Goals & Slay Workbook if you need guidance in setting your goals and mapping out your game-plan for 2021.

www.SetGoalsAndSlayCoaching.com

I am a firm believer that we should acknowledge God in all of our ways and that He will direct our paths (Reference: Proverbs 3:6). But, I also believe it is important to have a strategic plan of action IF we want to shoot our best shot at slaying our BIG and sometimes impossible looking goals.

Have a Blessed & Productive week (Even if that means resting).

Thank you for reading!

How Bad Do You Want It?

We made it! The fourth Quarter is here! I know 2020 has had many of us feeling like yelling Jumanji when the clock strikes midnight, New Years Eve.. But, the blessed thing is that we are here and we’ve still got 3 months to close this year out strong.

What was your mindset and focus walking into 2020?

I walked into 2020 with MY plans. Plans to get back on stage performing spoken word, traveling and promoting my book at live events and more. All of my plans involved in person socializing, I was very much looking forward to. But.. Covid-19 happened.

Days turned into weeks and weeks into months.. And, like everyone else, I had to pivot.

One thing that makes me really uncomfortable is unexpectedly having to change my plans. But, one thing I’ve learned the value of this year is that:

A key to success is one’s ability to be FLEXIBLE in their approach to achieving goals.

Life happens we least expect it.

Even when it’s uncomfortable, sometimes it will be necessary for us to SHIFT in our approach IF we really want to achieve our goals. That means switching the HOW without changing the WHAT.

Question is, how bad do you want it?

For most of 2020, I have been going back to the drawing board and analyzing my goals and strategy of attack, self-reflection and relaxation. I’ve learned how necessary it is to have and maintain a healthy life BALANCE.

I’ve also learned to be proud and to celebrate the fact that I’ve gotten through emotionally triggering moments in 2020 without spiraling into depression or anxiety attacks, like I did the past 3 years.

I thought I was going to focus 90% of my time and energy on growing my new business, promoting my books and performing poetry. But, instead, my focus has largely been on MY personal growth and development! Oh! And, making sure that have necessary systems in place to effectively grow my business, when it’s time.

I had no idea things were going to go in this direction. It’s been bittersweet and in SOME ways, a blessing in disguise. I mean, I like things to go my way.. But, I’ve learned to appreciate that it won’t always go my way and be okay with that.

I am excited to see how THIS season of unexpected preparation will unfold into something AMAZING.

My friend, whatever challenges that you have faced in 2020 or in life, it came to make you stronger AND to prepare and position YOU for what is to come.

Sometimes, God will step in and initiate CHANGE in our plans. Especially, if they do not ALIGN with HIS plan and purpose for our life.

Even still, God is working it all together for your good. I encourage you today, to trust him with your GOALS, DREAMS and with your LIFE.

Hang in there, we’ve got 3 months left in the year. Let’s finish strong. Let’s set goals & slay!

Why It’s Okay to Have Bad Days (A lesson on Perspective)

It’s okay to sometimes be like, “I’m having a bad day,  I’m not feeling like myself” and just be.

This does not mean that you stay there. The key is being self-aware and mindful. Being able to acknowledge that, “this is where I am, it’s not where I wanted to be and this is not where I will stay, but right now, in this moment, this is where I am, this is how I feel and it is okay. Because I know that I am and that I will be okay.”

I haven’t always thought this way. And, often would disregard the quote that says “It’s okay not to be okay.” I’d think to myself, “what do you mean it’s okay?” But, life experiences has since shifted my perspective on this a bit.

Happiness is a choice..

I wholeheartedly believe that our own personal happiness is a choice. And, that it is up to us, whether or not, we allow people, things and circumstances to influence our overall happiness. This, accompanied by the idea that our ability to maintain a positive success “growth” mindset is key to our overall happiness and success in life. However, I have learned through various experiences over the past few years, that life is made up of a series of processes and levels.

Stick with me..

For those of us who are complex, we may need to be extra patient with ourselves when it comes to our personal growth and development, because an essential part of growth is process. Sometimes, going through the process is uncomfortable. Sometimes, it feels like nothing is happening, or as if no progress is being made. But, to endure, we must understand that it is all a part of the process. And, that process does not look the same for everybody.

Your process might not look like my process and that is okay.

During the process, you may have a moment or even an entire day where you are just not okay. And, it seems like in the world of personal development, that we’re taught that we should do things that will promote positivity and a shift in our emotions or mindset, while we are in a negative mental place. I absolutely agree with this.. However, today, I want to share an idea..

That sometimes, an essential part of our PROCESS may be to do nothing at all, but simply observe.

Be mindful and observe HOW you feel, identify WHY, what or who influenced you to feel some type of way and just be.. in the moment.

Simply observe. Allow yourself to FEEL the emotion.

Acknowledge the feeling, without adding or subtracting it’s value.

Know that the FEELING does not have to last forever if you don’t want it to. Because yes, YOU do have a choice to be or not to be happy. You CAN shift your focus and intentionally focus on things that bring you joy and happiness; to SHIFT your feeling (mood), attitude or perspective.

Remember.. that it is okay, to simply observe.

If it happens to be a part of your process, it’s okay.

Don’t feel as if you have to meditate, chant, or baptize yourself in affirmations IF you feel as if you need a minute to just hit the pause button and simply BE in the moment. Yes, even with the negative feelings/emotions.

I feel as if this take on mindset and dealing with negative emotions is taboo to some, but it’s real. Most times the meditation, prayer, affirmations, etc. will work. But, every now and then, you may discover that you just need to be mindful and ride it out.

In the process, as you observe, you remain open to lessons you can learn and perspective shifts can take place, simply because you are still.

Do This Whenever You Feel Uncomfortable, Unconfident or Inadequate..

For the past couple of weeks I have been taking time to hit the reset button and get some much needed r&r. Usually, I am always on the go and tend to keep going until I hit a wall; where I become physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.

During my time of rest and relaxation, I have had opportunities to take part in a few activities I haven’t done in a long time and others that I have never done before. Somehow I found myself outside of my comfort zone, at times where I was not expecting to end up there. Maybe you can relate, but I have found myself having to try a little harder to shift my perspective of my comfort zone – or – in this case, lack thereof. I mean, I’ve literally had to pause, walk and talk myself through the process of shifting my mindset.

Many people are comfortable with their negative mindset/perspective. But, to truly grow and evolve as a person, we must be willing to shift our mindsets and adapt; to enable personal growth and development in uncomfortable experiences.

I’ve gotten a really late start, but over the past 3 years, I’ve really come to loooove Marvel and DC movies and shows. I’ve always wished I had a super power.. But, what I am realizing is that WE already have a super power. Like some of our Superhero faves, who did not discover or come to terms with their powers until they were teenagers or young adults; we have a power that many of us have not discovered or come to terms with yet. Our super power is our MIND and our ability to SHIFT.

So what, we can’t shape-shift or run at super human speed? We have a power that literally can change the trajectory of our lives IF we know how to use it.. yes, to our advantage. Often, when I am outside of my comfort zone, naturally, I feel uncomfortable, unconfident and inadequate. But lately, I’ve been pressing pause and walking myself through the process of shifting my mindset, so that I am focusing less on WHAT I can’t do very well and focusing on what I CAN and have done well.

Y’all, I have found myself tripping up and making mistakes on trivial things, things that I have done many times before AND some things that I’ve never done before. The trip up has not necessarily been in the mistake I made or embarrassment it caused, but rather the fact that I was impatient and disappointed in myself for not excelling. Before beating myself up about it mentally, I hit pause and remind myself that..

  1. It’s okay to try hard and still mess up, many things, over and over again
  2. It’s okay to NOT be perfect
  3. It’s okay to be good at SOME things and not everything. OR, one or two things instead of many things
  4. It’s better to be authentically you and stay in your lane, no matter how uncomfortable it may be at times
  5. Your superpower is your mental ability to leverage being comfortable IN uncomfortable situations
  6. Your super is also your imperfection

I’ve literally had to tell myself at times, “So what, you may not be good at a lot of things, but it is super valuable, just the two or three things that you do VERY well.”

When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, unconfident or inadequate, heres’ what you should do:

  1. Be patient with yourself
  2. Be consistent in going through the process to SHIFT
  3. Celebrate the small wins too!
  4. Give yourself as many pep talks as you need

Use your super power: your mind. It is so much more powerful than you realize. I encourage you to research and study the power of YOUR mind AND your thoughts. Use your mind; and more specifically to change your life; beginning with the negative thoughts you think consistently about uncomfortable things you experience. When a negative thought comes to mind, replace it with a positive thought. Do this, over and over again. Practice mindfulness and meditation, listen to binaural beats as you sleep, detox and eat clean, stay active and surround yourself with positive minded people.. All these things help us to have a more positive perspective of ourselves and of the challenging and uncomfortable situations we experience.

Stay positive minded & stay safe out there. Keep chasing & manifesting those dreams!