The Missing Piece: Goal Setting for the Anxious Mind

As we wrap up 2021, many people have begun to reflect on the year and plan for the next!

As we embark upon a new year and set our goals – it is essential for our success that we set SMART goals. A SMART goal is defined as Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Trackable. If you want to set a goal that you are LESS likely to quit, then you must have a strategy. The best strategy is made up of a SMART goal and an Action Plan. The gamechanger is what the plan contains!

I believe that the best Action Plans are flexible. There is room for growth and change. If the plan is not flexible then you are MORE likely to quit. You are more likely to give up on a goal that is not flexible – because it lacks wiggle room to pivot and adjust when LIFE happens.

Life happens when we least expect it. Although we ARE the CEO’s of our lives – We cannot control every detail of our life experiences. We can only control our actions and attitude in response to what happens.

There is one more aspect of goal-setting that I want to talk about and that is the importance of: SURRENDERING

Lately, I’ve been feeling really anxious. One of the many reasons why is that I am getting married in 1 month and my whole life is about to change – for the better!! I’m really excited that I get to marry and spend the rest of my life with thee love of my life!

Some changes, like starting new chapters in our lives, take us outside of our comfort zones. I’m goal-oriented, I love to plan, it helps me understand what needs to get done and when, helping to reduce my stress & anxiety. I find comfort in knowing the steps needed to get where I’m tryin to go. Of course, it’s beneficial when you’re pursuing SMART goals. But, this next chapter of my life will be a new adventure, with a lot of fill in the blanks. I don’t know where this new path with take me, but I’m both excited and undeniably anxious about the journey ahead!

One thing that generally helps me manage my stress and anxiety is meditation. I highly recommend meditation – if you don’t meditate regularly already. Try it. Be intentional about setting aside time to meditate; practice mindfulness and gratitude. Clear your mind and center your thoughts on good things! Things that you are grateful for. Take a moment to just BE – in the moment.

Now, when it comes to managing stress and anxiety as we pursue or goals, it is necessary that we learn to let go of the fear attached to our desire to control different aspects of how our dreams will manifest. Surrender.

That is part of the adventure of life.

Yes, we set goals and take strategic action to accomplish our goals and bring our dreams to life. But, once we truly surrender – we are no longer stressed about the HOW and the WHEN. If we know the WHAT and the WHY and are taking action steps then we should be able to find peace, knowing that IF it’s meant for me and if it’s meant to be THEN it will be!

Something I learned about myself this is year: One of my greatest fears is losing myself.

Transparent moment..

I have many ideas, goals and dreams – And, ultimately I my goal is to empower people to be and to do everything that God has purposed for them to do. Walking boldly, confidently in their God given purpose. Embracing everything that makes them different, unique – so that God can get the glory out of their lives. I believe that is my life purpose. I had to go through some things to discover this.

But, what if God wants my purpose to manifest differently than how I imagined?

The purpose is the same but what if He’s made some changes to the assignment?

Because people change right? And, our purpose is less about us and always more about helping others in some capacity. So, what if something about the assignment has changed?

This is why being in alignment is so necessary. I cannot be in alignment with my purpose and the giver of my purpose IF I am holding on too tightly to MY expectations of how things should go. That includes the timing, the route taken to get there and the vehicle used to fulfil God’s purpose for our lives. We are vessels, chosen for a unique purpose that extends beyond what our minds can comprehend. That is why the concept of legacies exists. When we are gone, a part of us should still live on.

Sometimes, we may wonder “why me?” Why did I have to go through that? Why am I the way that I am? It has everything to do with your purpose. Discovering that purpose, can be an adventure itself.

Once I found my purpose, I latched onto it tightly. It felt like I finally found my identity. It helped me get through some of the darkest moments of my life, when I wanted to give up on life and my dreams. When I felt worthless, I found my self-worth in knowing that I do have a purpose.

I spent so many years comparing myself to other women, hating myself and what I looked like in the mirror, covering up my curves, wondering why I was so shy, lonely, looked over, forgotten and experiencing heartbreak after heartbreak.. It was all for a purpose! I didn’t understand that back then. So, when I finally found my purpose, I embraced it as my identity.

Discovering my purpose was great and all, but here’s the problem..

While my purpose remains, the assignments can change. Here’s how:

1) The assignment itself can change (The WHAT)

2) There can be a change withIN the assignment (The HOW/WHEN/WHERE)

3) The assignment can be canceled

This is what we should also remember:

1) Even if something happens to the assignment, OUR purpose still remains.

2) Knowing our WHY is key! Knowing our WHY is key! Knowing our WHY is key! Because, knowing your WHY is the very reason why, even if the assignment changes or life happens initiating a change to the assignments, because YOU still have that purpose – God’s purpose for your life will still manifest. A way will be made for that vision to come to life.

Remember how I said one of my fears is losing myself? Well, I met with my mentor the other day and something she told me really stuck with me. It started with this question: “Who are we?”

What she was explaining to me was the reality that, we are not the creator and giver of our purpose. Our creator attached purpose to our lives. It’s His purpose that is to be fulfilled in the earth. We are the vessels he uses. So, He knows and understands and ALLOWS the assignments, seasons and chapters of our lives to change. He knows and understands. Knowing this, that is where we can find peace, knowing that HE will make a way.

I don’t need to worry about losing a special part of what makes Me, me, because if I surrender my will and embrace His will for my life, then the purpose will be fulfilled. And, the assignments.. Sometimes, they change and will manifest in a different way than we imagine or expect.

The lesson now is that, I am not my purpose. My purpose is NOT my identity. My purpose is a gift and a responsibility given by the creator. And, even though I am required to surrender, I can find peace in knowing that if I stay in alignment with the creator and giver of my purpose, then it will be fulfilled. Even when life happens.

So as we prepare for the New Year.. DO: Set your goals, create a strategic plan of action and take action, because FAITH without works is dead. Remember that – surrendering is MORE important than the goal and action plan. If there is no surrender – then your plan is not flexible and you will be more likely to give up on your goal.

Surrendering looks like releasing fear, expectation and control. It’s taking action all while accepting and finding rest in expecting the unexpected. Surrendering allows you to remain at peace when you have to unexpectedly re-route, because things didn’t go as planned and that’s okay.

God knows your heart and He will fight for you. But we may be required to release; to surrender our control so that he can steer us in the direction that HE wants us to go.

Alignment requires surrender.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Happy Holiday Set Goals & Slay Family!!❤️💚