It’s That Time of Year..

Can you believe it!? It’s already that time of year!! This is that time of year where most people are 1) Gaining Momentum OR 2) Giving Up on their goals.

Studies have shown that by February, 80% of Americans QUIT their New Year Resolutions! Only 8% of Americans KEEP their goal ALL year. AND check this! By January 12th, post people QUIT their goals… It’s March.. So, Imagine how many have already given up..

IF you are still going.. sis, I’m proud of you! Keep going! 👑

IF you have already given up.. it’s okay to START over! Be encouraged 👑

IF you have NOT started yet, because of fear, doubt, insecurity, etc… Focus your attention & energy on your WHY and START. NOW is the PERFECT time to begin! I’m rooting for you. You got this! 👑

How NOT to Give Up On Your 2020 Goals

“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!”

– Benjamin Franklin

It’s common knowledge that during that at the start of each new year, many people, all over the world set new goals and new year resolutions. It’s also commonly known that most start of strong, but instead of gaining momentum, most people fall off around March and April. Many of us know this to be true and can raise our hand it admittance that we are guilty of this too.. giving up on our goal or resolution. Have you ever stopped to wonder why so many individuals continue to go through the cycle of starting and stopping when it comes to pursuing their goals? Because, if it’s one thing I know, is that LIFE happens to us ALL. No one Is immune to unexpected challenges, roadblocks and setbacks occurring. That’s just life right. Yet, some or should I say ALL of the most successful people in the world have faced multiple challenges at some point in their lives. The difference between them and everyone else is that they kept going!

In 2020, I encourage you to keep going! But, I’m not here to encourage or motivate you. I’m here to empower you to keep going! So, I’ll tell you what you want to know. Let’s face it, it’s easy to give up on our goals when things get tough or uncomfortable. But, how do you NOT give up on your goal? How do you KEEP going?

You plan.

You need to have a plan.

Not just any plan. You need to have a strategic plan.

Having a strategic plan of action means that you have a plan for HOW you will KEEP going WHEN roadblocks and setbacks present themselves.

I promise you, roadblocks and setback will arise. And, that is when many people get discouraged. BUT, when you have a strategic plan, you have a flexible plan that gives you options. Meaning, IF you plan A does not work, you have a plan B, C and D.

You are more likely to keep going when challenges arise when you are prepared in advance.

Don’t have a plan? I’m here to help.

As a certified life, solution-focused and Goal Success Coach, I’m on a mission to empower millennial women to clarify, set & slay their goals! I am now offering Goal Success Strategy sessions where I will help you create a strategic strategy to slay your 2020 goal(s). For more info or to book your discovery call, click HERE.

Another way that I am empowering individuals to clarify, set & slay their goals, is to share tips & strategies to help you do just that.

Yesterday I shared a tip on my social media pages that I will share with you now.

If you want to set yourself apart from the masses and achieve your goal; I encourage you to start here. Start by developing a habit of writing out your goals daily. What I’m sharing with you, is something that I do. Every day! And, I’m telling you, when I first began doing this, about 3 years ago, it wasn’t long before my mindset began to SHIFT & I began to see RESULTS! If that’s what you want to see clearly in 2020, start here!

A few tips for writing out your goals – strategically!

1) Keep a journal specifically for writing out your goals daily.

2) Get as specific as you possibly can.

3) Write your goals as if you already have what you desire to manifest.

4) Connect emotionally to what you are writing. It helps to speak it out loud and to visualize how you’ll feel when you get it! Bring those positive emotions and energy into the present moment.

The benefit of writing your goals daily is that it helps keep you focused, motivated and accountable.

The Fear of Rejection

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Everyday it’s an ongoing battle

I’m at war with myself

With my thoughts

Everyday, haunted with memories and fears

Constantly fighting off negative thoughts

What if this and what if that?

And, what lies beneath it all, I have discovered is fear

Fear of what exactly? 

What is it that I’m afraid of

What am I trying so hard to protect myself from?

Rejection.

I’m afraid of being hurt and rejected

Again

I’m afraid of the tears, the loneliness and heartbreak

I’m afraid of the disappointment 

The worst days of my life were the most painful

I fear feeling how I felt then, again

Memories of those moments, they come back to haunt me

So, everyday I’m fighting off negative thoughts that try to consume me 

And hold me captive to my past

Everyday it’s a fight

Everyday it’s a struggle

And, I want to fight because I can 

But, can I be honest.. I’m tired

I’m tired of having to fight

I’m tired of facing the lingering fear of rejection

Sometimes, I wish someone could fight for me

Or, that I didn’t have to fight at all

Wish I could get rid of this fear once and for all

How do I get this fear under subjection?

Because it accompanies me daily like I’m the object of it’s affection

I’ve become it’s kryptonite

So, I try to be strong

Act like nothing’s wrong

I wasn’t given the spirit of fear

So how do I let it go?

How do I conquer it before it conquers me?

How do I find the motivation to fight daily?

They said to guard my heart

So, I used that to justify putting up a wall

But walls don’t stop you from falling

But, can cause  you to lose everything you’ve ever wanted

Fear distracts and fear destroys if it’s not destroyed first

Fear has it’s place

But, not when it comes to peace of mind

I’m just out here, trying to find mine.

(Spoken Word Poem by Kezia Marie ©) 

 

I’ve struggled with anxiety for awhile now. Most days, I have a good handle on it. But, some days, it gets the best of me. I have come to realize the the underlying cause of my anxiety and stress is fear; a fear of the things that I cannot control. Most of my worrying comes from worrying about the future. This makes sense, when I consider the type of person I am. I am goal oriented and solution focused. I dislike reflecting on the past if its not to learn from past experience with the expectation that I will benefit from it moving forward. I like to be in control, or at least have an awareness of what is going on with me and around me. But, we all know that, that is  not how life works. We don’t get to be in control of everything. Some things happen unexpectedly and by chance. And, while I do love surprises, I like to limit what those kind of surprises can be.

Knowing the type of person I am, clearly, I am like a magnet for anxiety! And, of course, seeing this as a problem, I am quick to look for a solution. How do I solve this problem? How do I conquer my fear without it conquering me? Well, what I can tell you, is that the perfect place to begin is at the root. What is the foundation of my fear? Rejection. This means that something has happened in my past that has caused me to feel certain, negative emotions that initiated the fear factor. My negative emotions are not connected to the event or person itself, but it is to how it made me feel. So, whenever anything happens (trigger) that causes me to feel similar emotions today, I am instantly reminded of those past events and that increases those intense emotions that translates into anxiety. I become anxious, uneasy, unsettled, irritable, I panic. In those moments it becomes difficult to focus on anything but what I consider to be a problem that I can’t gain control of. 

Thursday morning I awoke, feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted, because of what I’d been struggling with. My fear of rejection. I’d been planning to write a blog on this topic for awhile, but 24 days went by and I just had no idea what to say or where to begin. But, that morning, I lay there, knowing how blessed I am to have what I have and who I have in my life, but was yet afraid that my fear could cause me  to forfeit God’s blessings. I ended up writing this poem instead. Normally, my poems are about my personal experiences and typically end with a positive spin or perspective meant to encourage others. Not this time. I felt like I had no answer, when usually, I do. I had no answers. No word of hope. Nothing more to say. Just raw emotion. 

Today is Sunday. And, I still have no answers. But someone dropped a word of encouragement in my inbox the same day, without knowing what I was dealing with prior to. I was reminded of Proverbs 3: 5 – 6 which says to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding: in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path straight.” This was not only a great answer to my having no answers, but also to my struggle with anxiety. The root of my anxiety is fear, and fear is something that will always present itself. But, whatever the circumstance may be, the answer or solution will always be to trust God no matter what! Regardless of my understanding, I just need to trust him, not rely on my own understanding or inability to understand and to just submit to the process. In Philippians 4:6, we are instructed to be anxious for nothing! He wouldn’t instruct us to do something we aren’t capable of doing or that he is not willing to help us do. Knowing this, I know that I can and will conquer anxiety, so that it does not conquer me! 

 

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